A Few Way for Fox to Improve World Series Ratings

It started when the Rangers eliminated the Yankees in the ALCS, but when the Giants managed to eliminate the Phillies in the NLCS the next day, it came to a head. Everybody on the internet had to joke. Everybody had to joke about how there were FOX executives watching each series from their living rooms, in the dark, alone, beside a note and a handgun, and when the final outs were recorded, they stood, slowly, placing the note in an envelope, and sealing the envelope, and suspending a rope from a support beam overhead, and holding the gun in one hand, and the beam in another, and looking up, drawing one final breath.

Ratings. Everywhere, people are talking about ratings. The Yankees versus the Phillies? That would get good ratings. The Rangers versus the Giants? That won't get good ratings. At least, not as good as the Yankees versus the Phillies. I don't know from whence all this sudden altruistic concern for the well-being of the FOX broadcasting company has come, but people are making a big deal out of this. They think that everyone at FOX headquarters must be miserable, and they're hoping against hope that millions of viewers on the fence will end up tuning in.

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