It started when the Rangers eliminated the Yankees in the ALCS, but when the Giants managed to eliminate the Phillies in the NLCS the next day, it came to a head. Everybody on the internet had to joke. Everybody had to joke about how there were FOX executives watching each series from their living rooms, in the dark, alone, beside a note and a handgun, and when the final outs were recorded, they stood, slowly, placing the note in an envelope, and sealing the envelope, and suspending a rope from a support beam overhead, and holding the gun in one hand, and the beam in another, and looking up, drawing one final breath.

Ratings. Everywhere, people are talking about ratings. The Yankees versus the Phillies? That would get good ratings. The Rangers versus the Giants? That won't get...