I want to start out by thanking anyone who has ever spent the time to send fan mail my way. I now want to apologize to the fans who sent in mail between 2008 and now because you haven't gotten shit back. Luckily the mail is not lost and in a turn of great fortune, I found over 1000 letters packed into a box in my basement today! It takes a long ass time to read 1000 letters, but once I began there was no stopping. I swear I personally read every letter, signed every card and photo. I'm sure a bunch of people are going to be pretty damn surprised to get their letters back in the the mail.
Please consider if you've sent mail and moved in the last three years, I hope you left a return address. Also taken into consideration was the cost of stamps. When received in 2008, the price of mailing a regular letter was .42 cents, which has now went up .02 cents, but no worries, I have covered all return costs. I'm sure the postal employees will enjoy selling me thousands of 2 cent stamps.