The Marlins are about to bring in a man who will immediately take the title of largest sports personality in town, and it won’t even be close, even though his primary responsibilities will be tedious tasks like filling in a lineup card and calling the bullpen.
They’re bringing in a manager in Ozzie Guillen who litters every sentence he speaks with words inappropriate for children or network TV.
They’re bringing in a leader of men who just Monday said money is what drives him, not silly, worthless championship rings, and he wanted to manage for an organization that would pay him enough money to buy a 62-foot boat.
That’s Guillen, the Venezuelan former Marlins third-base coach who is leaving Chicago after eight rant-filled years to direct the Marlins in their new stadium.
He loves to speak, has no clue what the word “filter” means and has been credited with both motivating the White Sox to a World Series title in 2005 and being little more than an entertaining, big-mouthed nuisance since.