This isn't a tale about how many zillions of dollars Albert Pujols is about to add to his 401(k) this winter.
This isn't a tale about whether Albert Pujols owes it to the American public to talk to media knuckleheads like us after a World Series game.
No, this is just a tale about what really matters at times like this -- the tale of how the greatest hitter in our solar system took an electrifying journey into the history books on a crazy Saturday evening in October.
How do we digest the magnitude of what we just witnessed? How do we make our brains process the unprecedented show that Albert Pujols just unfurled in Game 3 of a World Series that might be his final act as a Cardinal?
Three home runs -- in a World Series game? Five hits -- in a World Series game? Six RBIs and 14 total bases -- in a World Series game?
Who does this? That's what we ask ourselves.
Well, nobody does this. That would be the correct answer. Or at least no one else ever has. Not all in one night, at least.
But now Sir Albert has officially turned this into HIS World Series, with a breath-taking night in Texas, as his team was grabbing hold of this Series with a 16-7 Game 3 mashing of the Rangers.