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Stanford-Oregon Game Finally Here

AP Photo

All right, citizens. Here we go. Stanford's football team has not lost a game in the past 406 days. But as we approach the kickoff for Saturday's long-awaited matchup against Oregon ...

(Wait! Oregon's hurry-up offense is on the field already! No kickoff! No huddle! The Ducks are lining up for a play!)

Sorry. As we were saying, Stanford has been waiting for the perfect opportunity to show it is for real. And when the ABC television cameras show up at the stadium and ...

(Hold on! Oregon has already run three plays and has another first down! The Ducks are snapping the ball again! They're also simultaneously changing their uniforms to another unfathomably ugly...

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