Brady Performs Autopsy on Eagles

Brady Performs Autopsy on Eagles

We take you now to an operating room in South Philadelphia where Dr. Tom Brady has completed scrubbing and is ready to operate.

Dr. Brady: “Scalpel.” Check.

“Rib spreader.” Check.

“Suction.” Check.

He makes a precise incision and opens up the patient, hereinafter known the Philadelphia Eagle, and inside he finds…nothing.

An empty cavity.

No heart? Nope.

No guts? Nope.

Nothing at all?

Nope.

And yet, they live. Somehow, they live.

True, theirs is the most tenuous of grips on the playoffs, but through sheer happenstance and more than their share of plain dumb luck, it is still mathematically possible for the Iggles to make the playoffs.

Not that they deserve it.

Not after serving as the guest cadaver in Dr. Tom Brady’s Sunday autopsy.

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