Dear David Freese,
Word on the street says you’re not thrilled with me. Allegedly, last week I proclaimed your playoff heroics correlated to an elevated and unwarranted standing this season, writing a check that your injury-prone body could not cash. I advised owners not to buy the hype, that you best served their team riding the pine the first few weeks until you proved your merit.
To say you’ve taken this challenge to heart would be like saying Sofia Vergara is kind of cute. You answered, and answered with vigor, hitting .444 with three long balls and 10 RBI in the Cards’ first six games of the season. More importantly, you have given the St. Louis fan base reason to believe the club can compete sans Albert Pujols. I guess what I’m trying to say is:
I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking, and I’m not attractive…