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Bifocals Show Old Fans, Young Managers

Sports Talk Florida

There are, in life, these big moments when the curtain is pulled back and you understand, with unsettling clarity, that you are getting old. On Thursday, for instance, I got bifocals. Well, I didn't get them yet. My optometrist ordered them. He said, "It's time," and ordered them … you know, without throwing me a bachelor party or anything. The bifocals will arrive in two weeks. This means I basically have two weeks of youth left. Maybe I'll buy a convertible or play Sega hockey or go climb a tree or something, because when those bifocals come, let's be honest, the dream of staying young forever ends pretty dramatically.

Of course, I'll actually spend my last two weeks of relative youth squinting at menus and holding the phone so close to my face while...

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