Jerry? It's me. It's me, talking to you personally this morning. Consider it nothing more than a friendly chat, with also a self-help suggestion attached.
I understand if you're a tad skeptical about this benevolence. But I come in peace. Just be open-minded, and forget for a second all those bad things I've ever said about you, football-wise.
That you are a football idiot, and that kind of stuff.
Jerry, listen to me. I can help you. I can help you do a one-eighty in both a local image upgrade and with the vast CowSheep fandom, world-wise.
My man, it is NOW your time to pounce in this jockdom market. My clock says it is officially: Jerry Time.
Obviously, Jerry, you take no pleasure in the current crash-and-burn situation of your Randol Mill Road neighbor, that being the Texas Rangers Baseball Club.
What a brutal winter for that bunch, huh?
Not to be catty, Jerry, but this reminds me of some of your off-season debacles.