Dunk Contest Silly, Pointless - and Lovable

Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE/Getty Images

The first stipulation: The NBA Slam Dunk Contest does not, cannot and should not matter -- it's not important, it says nothing much about anything in particular and is finally and quite satisfyingly just a bunch of tall dudes throwing a basketball through a hoop as creatively and forcefully as they can. The second stipulation is that the Slam Dunk Contest's meaninglessness doesn't matter, either -- there's no reason the Slam Dunk Contest should matter even a little bit more than it does, and no way in which that meaninglessness diminishes it.

The third stipulation, which I assume doesn't really need much stipulating, is that I don't know how to run a professional sports league. I write about sports for a living,...

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