Salary Cap? Yawn! Big House? Tell Me More!

Salary Cap? Yawn! Big House? Tell Me More!

The Tom Brady statistic that interests me the most these days is 22,000 square feet. I suppose I should be paying more attention to that three-year, $27 million contract extension that the 35-year-old star quarterback signed this week that "frees up cap space" for the New England Patriots for the coming seasons -- important stuff, no doubt, but the more I look at those numbers the more they read like something included in the fine print of the warrantee for my flat-screen television set. The 22,000-square-feet number is far more compelling.

 

 

That is the size of Tom Brady's new house in Brentwood, Calif. You know, the one that is surrounded by a moat.

 

"Gisele," Tom says into his walkie-talkie. "I'm in the gym, where are you?"

 

"I'm in the library, Tom."

 

"Which one?"

 

How do you live in a house roughly the size of the Staples Center or the international terminal at LAX, bigger than half the city halls in all of America? Do you call up What's-Her-Name in England, the one who resides at Windsor Castle, for pointers?  

 

These are the People magazine kind of off-season questions attached to sports celebrities that I love, wrapped in fun and jealousy and low-grade snark to make us keep reading. How much water fits in that "resort-style" swimming pool?" How many cars in that "six-car garage?" What kinds of cars would those cars be? Are there going to be alligators in that moat?

 

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