The Tom Brady statistic that interests me the most these days is 22,000 square feet. I suppose I should be paying more attention to that three-year, $27 million contract extension that the 35-year-old star quarterback signed this week that "frees up cap space" for the New England Patriots for the coming seasons -- important stuff, no doubt, but the more I look at those numbers the more they read like something included in the fine print of the warrantee for my flat-screen television set. The 22,000-square-feet number is far more compelling.
That is the size of Tom Brady's new house in Brentwood, Calif. You know, the one that is surrounded by a moat.
"Gisele," Tom says into his walkie-talkie. "I'm in the gym, where are you?"
"I'm in the library, Tom."
How do you live in a house roughly the size of the Staples Center or the international terminal at LAX, bigger than half the city halls in all of America? Do you call up What's-Her-Name in England, the one who resides at Windsor Castle, for pointers?
These are the People magazine kind of off-season questions attached to sports celebrities that I love, wrapped in fun and jealousy and low-grade snark to make us keep reading. How much water fits in that "resort-style" swimming pool?" How many cars in that "six-car garage?" What kinds of cars would those cars be? Are there going to be alligators in that moat?