Steve Jobs, the poo-bah from Apple, has invented a new sport. He and his wealthy pals from down here in Silicon Valley buy those Segway machines, the ones that look part scooter, part cycle and cost a cool $5,000. Then they use them to play polo.

Cheaper than a string of ponies, is their contention.

And more satisfying than watching the hometown team, the San Jose Sharks. The Sharks use ice skates as their means of propulsion. Sort of old-fashioned around these parts famous for computer chips and public wireless. Sort of ineffective too.

If you were with us previously, you might have sensed that after numerous missed opportunities to win the championship of the National Hockey League, a.k.a. the Stanley Cup, this was the season the Sharks would not miss the chance.

So much for the power of positive thinking. And the speed of the Chicago Blackhawks.

When the Hawks zipped by the Sharks 4-2 Tuesday night at HP Pavilion before a sellout crowd of 17,562 that gave up before San Jose did, Chicago owned a 2-0 lead in the best-of-seven Western Conference finals.

Since the next two games, which may be the last two games, are in Chicago, the odds the Sharks once more are about to end up scraping more ice than a Zamboni are very long indeed.

Exactly what happens to the Sharks every year may never be deducted by mortals or Segway machines, but something goes terribly wrong.

The previous season, they had the best record in the NHL, earning them a rather worthless piece of hardware called the President's Trophy. Then, while the citizens waved their white pompons, the Sharks waved goodbye after the first round.

It was better this time. Relatively. San Jose got past Colorado and its nemesis, the Detroit Red Wings. All it needed to do was beat the Blackhawks, and voila, the finals. It was a nice dream.

Chicago has won a league-record-tying seven straight road playoff games, giving a lie to the argument that teams struggle away from home ice. They don't when they have a goalie like Antti Niemi. Or a defense built on Duncan Keith or the locally despised Brian Campbell. He refused to re-sign with the Sharks a couple of years ago, choosing instead to join the Blackhawks.

San Jose offers a lot of smoke and fire, the smoke actual, the fire figurative, for Pavilion games. A huge, plasticized shark head with glowing red eyes is lowered from the ceiling before warmups, and with the house lights turned off, players skate out the mouth below emphatically large teeth and through a veil of smoke.

The fans are whipped up, chanting, bellowing. But as Hawks coach Joel Quenneville correctly pointed out, his team had the perfect method of quelling the noise and stunning the Sharks. It scored first, at 12 minutes 48 seconds of the opening period.

"That was huge,'' said Quenneville. "It settled things down.''

And unsettled the Sharks, who, because of all the reminders, are conscious of history.

"That took some of the energy out of the building,'' said Sharks coach Todd McLellan, "and sort of took some of the energy out of our team.''

As you've heard, there's no faster way to silence a home crowd than to get the jump in a game. Enthusiasm is a fragile item. Fans give up quickly, especially when it's Groundhog Day, Part IV.

Basically, what's happened is the Blackhawks, who defeated the Sharks three out four times during the regular season, know how to play San Jose, which is to prevent it from getting space on the ice. Chicago is smaller and faster, San Jose bulkier and, while nobody in the NHL is slow, not as fast as the Hawks.

"They play us really tight defensively,'' said Sharks captain Rob Blake. "For us to counter that, we've got to get our big bodies going.''

Northern California isn't quite hockey country. Not like Montreal, Toronto, Philadelphia or Chicago, but the Sharks are, through the process of elimination, the area's last hope.

None of the region's other pro franchises - the Giants, A's, Raiders, 49ers and mostly the Warriors, who, naturally were a bust in the NBA lottery draw - even have been in the playoffs the last four years. People who don't know a puck from a Big Mac jumped on a rickety bandwagon.

They'll be jumping off soon. If they haven't already fallen off.

When someone asked Blake whether the Sharks were trying to prove they weren't as bad as their embarrassingly early exit from the playoffs last season, he calmly responded, "We wanted to do that since Game 1.''

He meant of the regular schedule, not just the postseason. They proved they're not as bad. They also proved they're not as good. Again.