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RCS Tackles: Lil Romeo Playing For Trojans ... Ugh

by Robbie Gillies

Robbie: On Monday, rapper Lil Romeo signed a letter of intent to play for the USC Trojans basketball team next year.

Jeff: Actually, he dropped the lil. He's just Romeo now.

Dave: Good cause you either have to be actually short or ironically tall to be called lil and at 5'10 he's neither.

Robbie: Well, whatever his name is, he's going to get lil playing time. Athletes have tried their hand at rapping and that hasn't worked. Romeo will try his hand at basketball and that won't work.

Jeff: His Dad, Master P, came pretty close to doing it. So, maybe Romeo can do it.


Dave: I think the reason Master P never made it in the NBA was because he didn't realize there weren't actually tanks on the basketball court.


Jeff: A common mistake.

Robbie: So, you're telling me this kid


Robbie: Could be playing with this guy?


Jeff: Well, no. Mayo will probably be gone after this season. I'm not saying he'll be a superstar, but he has one more year to improve and perhaps grow a lil.

Dave: Here's a clip of his skillz

Robbie: My favorite part is at 1:20 where he pushes a guy over and steals the ball from him.

Dave: I think his father taught him that. "Now son, you gotta make em say oww". Well, it seems like none of us think he's going to be very good, so why did USC give up a roster spot for him?

Robbie: The rumor is that they signed Romeo because one of his best friends is DeMar DeRozen, one of the top recruits in the country. Romeo hadn't received a single scholarship offer from any other school and USC is giving him one?

Dave: Maybe they signed him because with a net worth of over $50 million they won't have to worry about him taking money from sports marketers.

Jeff: Maybe they signed him for publicity. They might need it after their opening loss to Mercer. USC isn't just in the business of signing players anymore- they sign publicity.

Robbie: Maybe it's all a big hoax and it's Romeo's version of Punk'd.

Dave: You Just Got Ughed!

Robbie: So USC is either getting a star recruit or publicity out of this, but if Romeo is hardly going to play what does he get out of this?

Dave: Romeo and his Dad have a hand in practically everything entertainment. Romeo is going to USC and plans to major in film to further increase their entertainment empire. What better place to make business connections than USC's film school?

Robbie: I see a buddy movie between Romeo and USC alumnus Will Farrell coming out of this.

Jeff: Romeo plays a hotshot basketball player that the coach can't control. So, when Will Farrell tries to walk-on to the basketball team, the coach teams Romeo up with Farrell in a 2 on 2 tournament that Romeo has to win or he's off the team. Romeo at first is frustrated, but eventually bonds with Farrell and they become an unstoppable duo.

Dave: How do you think Romeo will adjust to college life going from this

to dorm life?

Robbie: Well, I don't think he's exactly going to be eating Ramen and riding his bicycle to campus.

Jeff: The toughest thing for him might be the heckling. If there's one thing college fans can do well, it's heckle. He could be the most heckled student-athlete ever.

Robbie: More than Greg Oden?

Jeff: With former lyrics like: 'I drive a scooter' and 'You want a player wit some money, Flossin' baby iced out Bugs Bunny'. College kids will have an endless arsenal.

Dave: Not to mention his real name is Percy. PERCY!

Robbie: Think he'll have to give up rapping?

Dave: What will 12-year old girls do?

Jeff: He can always do what Matt Leinart did and take ballroom dancing.

Robbie: Think they offer crunking? Or maybe he's a crunker.

Jeff: No matter what happens this will be entertaining to watch. To measure the success of this venture I think we will have to compare Romeo's basketball performance to an athlete turned rapper. Let's hope Romeo can be as entertaining as