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February 29, 2008

What To Watch: Friday

7:30pm - ESPN2 - Arena Football Preview Show - So, is this what they got to replace hockey? Or was it the six hours of poker they show every day?

8pm ET - ESPN - Wizards @ Bulls - No Gilbert. No Caron. No Wallace. Should be great.

10:30pm - ESPN - Clippers @ Nuggets - Finally, something other than a practice for Allen Iverson.

Non-sports pick - 8pm - E! Entertainment - Victoria's Secret: What Is Sexy? 2008 - E! and Victoria's Secret team up to take a scientific look at what makes things sexy...or it'll just be an hour of good-old fashioned eye candy.

 

February 28, 2008

What To Watch: Thursday

7pm ET - ESPN - #17 Notre Dame @ #13 Louisville - "Wes Unseld is not walking through that door, fans. Samaki Walker is not walking through that door, and Francisco García is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, they're going to be gray and old. What we are is young, exciting, hard-working, and we're going to improve."

7pm - ESPN2 - St. Louis @ Saint Joseph's - If St. Joe's is hoping to be one of the 2-3 teams from the A-10 to make the tournament, this is a must win for them.

8pm - TNT - Mavericks @ Spurs - Battle for Texas bragging rights. Pipe down, Houston...you don't count anymore.

10:30pm - TNT - Heat @ Lakers - Well, so much for Shaq vs. Kobe. Instead we get perhaps the best team in the league against the worst team in the league. Awesome.

9pm - ESPN2 - #19 Michigan State @ #10 Wisconsin - Tough defense! Long possessions! Screens! Big Ten basketball, catch the fever!

Non-sports pick - 9pm - ABC - LOST - Look, we already know Michael's in this season since his name's in the credits. Get to it already!

Jerry Jones, Doing The Urkel Dance

The Mighty MJD in his Shutdown Corner blog over at Yahoo! Sports came across this picture today.

 


And people say bloggers don't do any good in the world. Pshaw.

Zell to Sell Wrigley Field Name, Others to Follow

CEO of the Tribune Co., Sam Zell has made it known that he has no problem selling the naming rights to Wrigley Field.

While baseball purists are uneasy with the thought of Wrigleyville being replaced by FedExville or Mott's Apple Sauceville, the economic impact of naming rights is too great to ignore. Similarly, in an effort to boost tourism and stave off bankruptcy, cities across America are hearing offers for naming rights - and companies are buying in. Taco Bell Town is just the place for Gordita lovers to visit - and the thought of iMac fans flocking to the official Big Apple has corporate execs salivating.

Bismark, ND will be changing its name to Chevy-Chase Bankburg
The Bronx will now be known as KFCity.
Athens, GA? Not anymore, the mayor has plans to change it to Citibank City.

Even though Wrigley Co. may be losing its name on a historic sports landmark, this may be just the time to tag the Twin Cities "Double Mint Gumburg" like they've always wanted.

Slamball is Back!

FINALLY!



If you like trampolines, body checks, slam dunks, and knee injuries waiting to happen, then Slamball is the sport for you. From the New York Times:

The hybrid basketball-gymnastics extreme sport that had a short life on Spike in 2002 and 2003 is being resurrected for a “showcase” season to be taped in June with expectations of selling eight franchises before 2009.


Hey, eight franchises. That means like 80 players. So start practicing your trampoline dunks right now. You might be needed. Of course, the league does not have TV contract for this "showcase" season yet, but they do have a commissioner. This guy:

 
It's the Pirate on the right


That's right, Pat Croce, former 76ers president. The league is destined for at least as much success as his reality show.

Thanks to Sporting Blog for the link.

We Hardly Knew Thee, Probably Knew You All Too Well, Sean

As you've no doubt heard by now, Sean Salisbury and ESPN have decided to go in their separate directions, as the former NFL quarterback has been replaced by Cris Carter. Salisbury had this to say yesterday in the Los Angeles Times:

"I'd grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar. Analysts who don't work as hard as me, don't prepare as hard as me, and don't have my resume were making more than me just because of their ability to throw or catch a football. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the opportunity ESPN gave me, but they had capped my ceiling. There was only so far I could go there.”


I can't really imagine how much further you can go when like 80% of your schtick is based on making fun a "dork," but hey, best of luck.

In the off-camera world, Salisbury is probably best known for a little picture he took once.

The NFL analyst who shall not be named that took a picture of his penis with a cell phone camera and has shown it to numerous, uncomfortable women, then was suspended by his network for it. Absolute true story.


The guys at Joe Sports Fan took on the monumental task of compiling "a sampling of why Sean Salisbury was, um, whatever he was." As they point out, "He was and is, in fact, completely delusional. The man was absolutely driven by the fact that he wasn't a superstar in the NFL. To him, being on TV was his chance to be a star, and to prove all those naysayers wrong. What a sad, pathetic existence. But it’s an existence that we’ll forever celebrate."

It includes topics like Undying Passionate Love for Brett Favre ("You give me a leader, and I'll show you a winner. You give me a coward, and I won't show you Brett Favre!") and The MVP Debate (October 2, 2006: “(Donovan McNabb) right now, along with Rex Grossman, has to be the frontrunner for the MVP.”).

It just won't be the same with Chris Carter.

February 27, 2008

What To Watch: Wednesday

7pm ET - ESPN - #6 Kansas @ Iowa State - After starting the season with 20 straight wins, Kansas has lost three of of their past seven games, including two straight on the road. The Cyclones, currently in 11th place in the Big 12, are also struggling, coming off a 76-64 loss to Texas Tech on Saturday—their fifth defeat in six games.

9pm - ESPN - Georgia Tech @ #7 Duke - Mike Patrick is announcing this one. Get ready for some unabashed Duke-love.

9pm - ESPN2 - West Virginia @ DePaul - Fun Fact: Marcus Singer ranks second at DePaul with 164 three-point field goals made during his career there. His bother was one of my professors at JMU. CREEPY, right?!

Non-sports pick - AMC - 8pm - Enter The Dragon - From the IMDB page: A secret agent arrives at an island fortress to do battle in a martial arts tournament. It stars Bruce Lee and was dubbed as, "The first American produced martial arts spectacular!"

Forgetting Someone Kobe?

On Kobe Bryant's website he just posted a video where he talks about Pau "The Gladiator" Gasol, the Oscars, the Olympics, and how the Lakers are doing. Listen :20 seconds in...

Just a couple Kobe? Just Andrew Bynum and Trevor Ariza? Forgetting someone?

 

Oh Chris Mihm, I hope you can find some solace in that giant trout. (Ed. note - I have no idea if that's a trout)

Who Is To Thank For Vanderbilt's Win Over Tennessee?

According to this video, head coach Kevin Stallings would like to thank the fans, but his star player Shan Foster thinks there was a higher power at work. I think the answer is somewhere in between these two choices - neither of which were actually on the court during the game.

Speaking of being on the court, there seemed to be a lot of security to stop the fans from rushing the court. Vanderbilt just beat the number one ranked team in the country and their biggest rival. These schools need to loosen up. But they don't need to loosen up as much as Syracuse.

February 26, 2008

Red Sox Should Get Used to Airplane Food Quickly



Recently, the Red Sox invited Bartolo Colon to camp. And now, they're rumored to be interested in trading for Joe Blanton, too. After taking a look at opening schedule this season, they might need those extra arms.

Their final spring training game is on March 19, against Toronto, in Fort Myers, FL. Then, they have to pack their bags. Lots of bags. Beginning the next day, the Sox embark on their tour around the world.

On Mar. 21, the Red Sox will play against the Hanshin Tigers of the Central League in Nishinomiya, Japan. Then, two days later, they travel to Tokyo to face the Yomiuri Giants in another exhibition game.

They stay there for a few days, and play the Oakland A's in a pair of games (Mar. 25-26) to kick-start the 2008 MLB season.

Then they'll take a day "off" to fly from Japan back to Los Angeles, CA, where they'll square-off with the Dodgers in a three-game series in some early-season inter-league action, including a game at L.A. Memorial Coliseum.

The Sox will stay in the state of California, take that Monday off, and then play at Oakland for a mid-week, two-game series with the A's (Apr. 1-2). Still, their trip is not over.

To end, they'll travel northeast for a three-game set with the Toronto Blue Jays (Apr. 4-6) before finally playing a home game on Tuesday, April 8, two weeks after playing their official season opener.

In all, the trip takes them through six cities, three countries, has them facing five opponents and playing 12 games in 16 days.



After all that, I have a feeling the Sox will be sick of planes, media...and each other.

More Political-y Goodness

As Kyle Trygstad mentioned in the RCP Blog, Barack Obama has a new supporter: Greg Oden.

In his own blog today, Oden writes that he spoke on the phone with Obama for "like two minutes," and he "got to talk to him like a real person."

Oden then offered his official backing:

He is a very nice man and I am a big fan. I got the chance to...read up on some of his beliefs and there are things he is doing that I really support like his plan with education, civil rights, and health care. That's why Senator Obama is getting my vote.


However, as Matthew Yglesias points out in The Atlantic, this could actually be bad for the presidential-hopeful from Illinois.
[T]he Portland Trailblazers won the draft lottery, took Oden with the number one pick, and Oden promptly suffered a season-ending injury. So is Obama like the much-hyped prospect who wins up letting your team down? A disturbing thought.


Other endorsements from NBA players that were released today:

Stephen Jackson - David Palmer

Fred Hoiberg - Himself

Carlos Boozer - Mike Gravel

Sam Cassell - John McCain; can relate on time spent in an awful location: Hanoi Hilton; LA Clippers

Mugsy Bogues - Dennis Kucinich

Scott Pollard - Mike Huckabee (really just supporting Chuck Norris, though)

What To Watch: Tuesday

7pm ET - ESPN - Ohio State @ #12 Indiana - The Hoosiers need a win to keep pace with Wisconsin atop the Big Ten. It will be Dan Dakich's first game at Indiana. How will the players and fans react?

7pm - Versus - Wild @ Capitals
- On February 10th the Caps were in 1st place in the Southeast division. Since then they've gone 1-2-3 and are now five points behind the Hurricanes. Ovechkin will need to end his five-game scoring drought for the Capitals to turn this thing around.

9pm - ESPN - #1 Tennessee @ #14 Vanderbilt
- Tennessee traveled to Memphis and ended the nation's longest home win streak. Now they'll attempt to beat a Vanderbilt team that's 17-0 at home this season. I'm looking forward to Erin Andrews interviewing Bruce Pearl.

Non-sports pick - 10pm - Food Network - Ace Of Cakes - Someone wants their wedding cake to be the Georgetown Hoya. What's A Hoya?

 

"Pete confirmed you as a friend on Facebook."

Things have been extremely hectic lately here at my "real job," hectic enough that I when I received the e-mail saying, "Pete confirmed you as a friend on Facebook," it actually brightened my day a bit.

That's because "Pete" is Pete Carroll, head coach of the USC football team.

Obviously, I'm not 100% sure that its his real page...but it certainly seems legit. According to a "note" he added today, Pete (now that we're Facebook friends, I can call him Pete) attended the premier of Will Ferrell's new movie, "Semi-Pro."

I got to go to the premiere of "Semi-Pro" last week in Westwood, and wow, it was hilarious. The after-party was a blast (see the photo) because they had ABA basketballs everywhere, Twinkies, Ho-Hos and all other sorts of good 70s style foods. But the movie itself made me laugh so much. Will Ferrell is on his game in this one, so I definitely recommend seeing it. I'm pretty sure it opens in theaters this Friday.

My favorite part was a poker scene that is an all-time classic--you'll be falling out of your seat laughing so hard.

So, go see "Semi-Pro" this weekend, you won't regret it!

-PC

 


Now, I can't be sure, but, I think he enjoyed the movie.

And if you're wondering about his current status: "Pete Carroll is rocking out to Foo Fighters."

Ron Paul Offers His Thoughts on Football

Since a decent amount of our readers here probably found us via some small political site, I thought this could be a worthwhile link.

"Ron Paul" took the time to contribute a guest column over at EveryDayShouldBeSaturday in which he offers his ideas and general ramblings football, including his take on the game's rules.

Oh, third: rules. You’re free, and that’s a huge responsibility. So when it comes to first downs, we can’t as a nation rely on the oversight of replay officials, or the unsubtle fascism of chalk lines, or even the quiet tyranny of aluminum stands. There’s so much order in this game, it’s a wonder people don’t all wear the same colors to the games! Wait, they do? Well, you know the last time I saw uniforms this consistent and well-arranged? Soviet Russia, my friends, the largest totalitarian regime currently standing on the planet. That’s the road to serfdom, people, and you pay eighty bucks a jersey for it! If you’re that keen on matching, I’ll buy you an Aeroflot ticket to Leningrad myself so you can be somewhere you feel more comfortable, Ivan.

Later, he suggests that we, the people, should make our own betting lines. He's got my vote.

Soulja Boy...Boy Is This Getting Annoying

There's been Bo Ryan, Zach Thomas, Gary Danielson and Verne Lundquist, and Crank Dat Louisville. Now we have grandmas doing it.

COURTESY: The Bucky Channel

Enough already. Please, please stop with the Soulja Boy. I called the death of the song in mid-November, but somehow it keeps surfacing. Perhaps I'm a part of the problem for continuing to post these videos, but let me tell all those that end up in YouTube clips doing the dance - it's definitely not cool and it's past the point of it being ironic and funny. Now, it's simply sad. Another song that has died from sports exposure. Go ahead and join "Who Let The Dogs Out" and "Let's Get It Started".

February 25, 2008

What To Watch: Monday

7pm ET - ESPN - #24 Marquette @ Villanova - It looks like Marquette is in, but Villanova is definitely on the bubble. Their win Saturday against #13 Connecticut was a tremendous help, but they will have to do more to ensure a bid.

7pm - Versus - Flyers @ Sabres - The Sabres currently sit as the 8th seed in the Eastern Conference, but just one point behind them are the Flyers. Flyers look to end a current 10-game losing streak.

9pm - ESPN2 - #7 Texas @ #25 Kansas State - For Texas, this should be their last tough game. If they beat KSU, they should win their last three games and have a good shot at a number one seed. But, they will have to contend with player of the year candidate Michael Beasley. Beasley is averaging 26 points and an NCAA best 12.5 rebounds. The Wildcats are 13-1 at home this season.

 


Non-sports pick - 8pm - Discovery Channel - Dive To Bermuda Triangle - "While researchers can explain the disappearances of many boats and planes, other remain mysteries." Maybe this can help with your Lost theories.

Oregon's New Uniforms Inspired By "The Drizzle"

Apparently Oregon decided it would be a good idea wear black on black uniforms the other day.

 
Photo courtesy of Mr. Irrelevant

Well, they are not the first to think that black-on-black is a good idea. I wonder if someone in charge at Oregon is a fan of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, as this idea is clearly taken from none other than "The Drizzle".

Frylock: Shake, the printer called and said that The Drizzle's stationary and business cards are ready. But they're concerned what with the paper being black and the ink being black.
Shake: Everything must be black, like the Storm of Justice!
 
Just because it's a good idea, doesn't mean it's a Drizzle good idea.

February 23, 2008

What To Watch: Saturday

12pm ET - ESPN - #13 Connecticut @ Villanova - UConn needs this win to keep pace with Georgetown and Louisville atop the Big East. Villanova needs this win to improve their Tournament resume.

1pm - ESPN2 - George Mason @ Ohio
- GMU still has a shot at the Tourney, but looks like Ohio, at 17-9 and 8-5 in the MAC would need to win their Conference Tournament to have a shot.

2pm - ESPN - Iowa @ #17 Michigan State - The last time these two teams played they scored 79 points COMBINED. Iowa upset MSU 43-36. The Spartans will look to exact revenge.

3pm - ESPN2 - Creighton @ Oral Roberts
- Oral Roberts is undefeated at home and their losses have been to respectable opponents, unlike Creighton.

4pm - ESPN - Wendy's Champions Skins Game, Day One
- Can you tell I know nothing about golf because I wrote out the whole title from the DirecTV guide? Out of that mess I understand Wendy's - I'll take a JBC.

5pm - ESPN2 - #18 Drake @ #8 Butler
- Wow. Who would've thought this Bracketbuster would mean so much? Someone is going to get a big win that will bump them up a few seeds in the NCAA Tournament.

6pm - ESPN2 - Miami (Ohio) @ Valparaiso
- These bracketbuster just don't make sense. It needs to be a mid-major against one of the teams from a major conference. Oh, and neither of these teams are making it.

9pm - ESPN - #2 Tennessee @ #1 Memphis
- THE college game of the year.

 

Non-sports pick - 9pm - NBC - Knight Rider - You're no Hasselhoff! Wait, that's a good thing.

Owen Schmitt's Mohawk Is Quacktastic!

 

At the Combine, West Virginia Fullback Owen Schmitt was asked many questions concerning his mohawk. Schmitt had this to say:

I just wanted one, I guess. I had never had one and I thought it would be cool to have one.

Who is this guy, Billy Madison?

Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I'd never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.

(Ed. Note - I tried really hard to find a video or even a screen grab of the blue duck scene, but got nothing)

February 22, 2008

What To Watch: Friday

 

8pm ET - ESPN - Wizards @ Cavaliers - LeBron has two straight triple-doubles, but will now have to adjust to his new teammates, or lack thereof for tonight's game. The Cavs are down to just six players, but will most likely sign two more to 10-day contracts.

10:30pm - ESPN - Celtics @ Suns - Celtics were 16-0 against the Western Conference before back-to-back games at Denver and Golden State. The Celtics are one of the best defending teams in the league and the Suns are one of the best offensive teams. Should be exciting.

Non-sports pick - 8pm - CBS - The Price Is Right Million Dollar Special - You can watch Price Is Right without being sick (or faking it).

Manny Ramirez is Looking Fierce

He's one of the most feared right-handed bats in the game. He has 11 seasons with at least 30 HR and once had 165 RBI in a season. His career OPS+ is 154 (!).

And he wears some weird pants.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, your clean-up hitter for the Boston Red Sox.

Look, Ma, I'm a Real Blogger Now.


As you've probably concluded from the picture, I met Deadspin's Will Leitch last night. He had his book reading and signing out in Georgetown last night, and the guy couldn't have been nicer. For someone who had one dorky guy after another looking to talk with him, he was very accommodating and seemingly very sincere.

Awful Announcing and Unsilent Majority made it out, and, apparently, Big Daddy Drew was there, too, but by the time I learned this, he had left. Which, in hindsight, was probably for the best -- confessing my admiration for a 30-something year old guy with a kid woulda probably just ended in awkwardness.

Anyways, thanks to Matt from Bugs & Cranks for putting together the after-hours get-together at Old Glory -- the $3.50 Bud Lights were much appreciated (that's a steal at a Georgetown bar).

Also, don't believe Will's note -- the book is actually a very good read.

Duke Is Only Figuratively Choking, Unlike Miami Fans

Miami beat Duke for the first time in 45 years, yet despite this achievement security stopped fans from rushing the court. Check out a particularly rough security guard:

The Big Lead

I understand doing your job, but when you beat a top five team and one of the best college basketball programs in the country, you should be able to rush the court. The security guards should protect the players but need to allow the students to have their fun.

You think this is the same security guard?

The Big Lead is all over law enforcement.

February 21, 2008

What To Watch: Thursday

7pm ET - ESPN - Pittsburgh @ #21 Notre Dame - Pitt has a five game winning streak against Notre Dame, but the two haven't met since January 2006 and Notre Dame has won 34 straight at home.

8pm - TNT - Heat @ Rockets - Both teams head into this game with 9 game streaks. The Rockets have won 9 straight while the Heat... well, the Heat are looking forward to next year.

9pm - ESPN2 - Michigan @ Minnesota - A real powerhouse match-up here. The two teams are a combined 9-16 in the Big 10. Well, I guess ESPN gets a game like this and then they get a game like Tennessee/Memphis.

9pm - ESPN - High-School Basketball - American Christian vs. St. Anthony - They just released the McDonald's All-Americans. St. Anthony has Michael Rosario who has committed to Rutgers and American Christian has Tyreke Evans who is still undecided. Tyreke is widely considered the top prospect from this year. But he comes with some baggage.

10:30pm - TNT - Sonics @ Trail Blazers - Portland has lost five straight and is now five games out of the playoffs in the West. Seattle has won 5 of 8, but might be without Kevin Durant, who missed the Sonics' last game with the flu. Who will replace his 8 for 25 shooting?

Non-sports pick - 8pm - National Geographic - Science Of Steroids - I'm guessing Roger Clemens will not have a guest spot.

Non-sports pick #2 - 9pm - ABC - LOST - If you have not watched this show yet go buy seasons 1-3 on DVD. I watched all of seasons 1 and 2 in one week back in 2006.

It's a Night for Dorky Guys to Hang Out


If you've ever read any sports blog before, including this one, you've probably heard of Deadspin. So, chances are you know of its author, Will Leitch (the not-so-secret idol of all other bloggers), and his book, Will Leitch: God Save the Fan: How Preening Sportscasters, Athletes Who Speak in the Third Person, and the Occassional Convicted Quarterback Have Taken the fun Out of Sports (and How We Can Get it Back). Seemingly, he tried to set the record for longest title ever (while simultaneously establishing a new mark for the amount of commas used in one book).

Well, tonight, Leitch's book-tour hits Washington, DC, a metro area that is home to this blogger...as well as seemingly every other blog out there.

The reading starts at 7pm, at the Georgetown Barnes & Noble and then the "party" moves across the street for some more "reading" (drinking).

DC Fans - Quit Whining

 

For better or worse, I've been an Orioles fan for about 20 years now, and there is one tradition that I always loved: During the Star-Spangled Banner, everyone would scream "O" during the "O, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave." If the singer was unaware of the tradition, it could really throw them off. But, you have to know your audience. Now, every time I hear the song I quietly let out a little "O", but never more than that unless I'm in the DC area.

Well, apparently this has annoyed many DC fans. There are still many Orioles fans in the DC area and they should show their pride (what's left of it) at all sporting events, despite what a few old curmudgeons have to say.

Links To The Past: I Shoulda Bet On The Missile!

The only reporter to attend the first combine. (Philadelphia Inquirer)

Sometimes, I think to myself, how did I not come up with that? Well, here's an example: "Fidel Castro Steps Down As Cuban President, Al Davis Wins Bet." Genius. (Sportaphile)

A list of this year's McDonald's All-Americans. UNC has three- shocker! (Sports Illustrated)

Steve Greenberg gives his list of what would be the most nerve-racking sports moments. Surprisingly, being a goalie on a penalty kick isn't in there. Dude, if you give up that goal, you can't go back to your home country. Now THAT's nerve-racking. (Sporting News)

It's not often we address somewhat political issues here, but this combines politics with gambling. You could've placed your bets on if the US could shoot down that spy satellite. Turns out it did. (Vegas Watch)

 

Howard Meant To Not Dunk The Ball

After the NBA Slam Dunk Competition I wrote about how Howard's "Superman Dunk" was in fact, not a dunk. Well, in an interview with HoopsWorld Howard responded to those that had the same feeling I did:

See, the thing is, for people who never dunked before, you don't have to touch the rim to dunk the ball. People were saying that it wasn't a dunk because I didn't touch the rim – you know, a lot of dunks I do during the season I don't ever touch the rim, it's just the fact that I put it in. And I wanted it to have the effect that it's impossible what I did, so that's why I threw it in like that.

I never said you had to touch the rim for it to be considered a dunk, but you can't throw it in the way Howard did. It would be one thing if he had been a foot above the rim when he threw it in, but he was a couple feet shy of the rim and HAD to throw it in. He could not have dunked it from where he took off.

February 20, 2008

What To Watch: Wednesday

 

7pm ET - ESPN - #3 North Carolina @ North Carolina State - Last season, UNC traveled to NC State ranked 3rd overall and lost. And that team had a healthy Ty Lawson. But, NC State has lost three in a row and were blown out by the Tar Heels earlier this year.

7pm - ESPN2 - #24 Marquette @ St. John's
- Marquette currently sits at fifth place in the Big East. A loss could drop them all the way to eighth.

9pm - ESPN - Lakers @ Suns - All eyes will be on the big fella.

9pm - ESPN2 - #25 Kansas State @ Nebraska
- How will Michael Beasley follow up his 40 point, 17 rebound night against Missouri? KSU is just 2-3 on the road and are Nebraska is a very good defensive team.

Non-sports pick - 8pm - TCM - Some Like It Hot
- Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon all in dresses. How can you go wrong?

Shaq's Scouting Report

 

Many people questioned the Suns deal for Shaquille O'Neal. How will Shaq fit in with the run 'n gun Suns? Well, we were able to get a hold of the Suns scouting report of Shaq just to see exactly what they thought the positives and negatives were.


Physicals:
Height: 7'1"
Weight: 325 lbs
College: LSU
Teams played for: Orlando Magic, Los Angeles Lakers, Miami Heat

Best Case Scenario
: Neon from Blue Chips
Worst Case Scenario: Goldberg from the Mighty Ducks

Strengths:
Gets to the line to miss free throws as well as anyone at the NBA level.
Essential for backup Center's development - can't play anywhere close to a full season.
Tells great jokes.
Getting winded and slowing down by half court helps with fast-break defense.
Shags his own balls during shootarounds.
Solid Connect-4 player.
Hates Bill Walton.
Does a great Borat impression. Have you seen his Borat? High Five!
Doubles as law enforcement.

Weaknesses:
Turns out he can't actually grant wishes - that was movie magic.

Comments:
O'Neal projects as an extremely old basketball player. He's the type of player that's got similar injuries (sore back and hip) to those that relegate grandfathers to wheelchairs and some might say he's past his prime. He is a bit of a risk at this point in his career but that risk is vastly outweighed by his Hollywood credentials, ability to flirt with the press, and keep a locker room laughing with Yo Mamma jokes. With the help of a great medical staff, effects of Father Time likely to be insignificant, if not entirely nullified.

Chants Of Coby Fill The Staples Center

 

With just under three minutes left in the Hawks vs. Lakers game and the Lakers up by 28, Coby Karl sent in a thunderous slam dunk that no one thought he had in him. The crowd errupted and for the first time ever, the Lakers crowd were cheering for another Coby. Karl would add a three-point play to set a career-high with five points in the game. Now the Lakers will travel to Phoenix. How will Coby react to seeing Shaquille O'Neal on the Suns??

February 19, 2008

Links To The Past: "Some of These Guys Have A Bad Attitude Skip"

Jon Heyman ranks the top 10 GM's in baseball. (Sports Illustrated)

NASCAR is far too boring to watch by yourself. Now there's a place to meet single women who also like to watch cars go around in circles for hours! (With Leather)

What if Chicago and California were to talk to each other? I think it would go something like this. Side note: I'll be headed to Chicago from California this Saturday. And yeah, we are THAT smug. (Bleacher Report)

Skins hired Jim Zorn and he quickly put his foot in his mouth, calling the Redskins colors Maroon and black, when they are in fact burgundy and gold. Well, now there's a blog called "Maroon & Black". (AOL Fanhouse).

 
"They sure do Strawberry!"

Tim Parent mixes two of my favorite subjects - sports & The Simpsons (before it got bad). He looks at what happened to each baseball player from the "Homer at Bat" episode. (Bleacher Report)

What To Watch: Tuesday

 

7pm ET - ESPN - #15 Purdue @ #14 Indiana - Watch Kelvin Sampson's last game coaching Indiana...

8pm - Versus - Blackhawks @ Blues - These teams are currently outside of the playoff picture, but both have played well recently. The Blues are 3-0-1 over their last four and the Blackhawks are 4-0-1 over their last five games. They will need to stay hot to have a shot at the playoffs.

9pm - ESPN - Georgia @ Kentucky - These two teams are a combined four games over .500. The SEC is really weak this year.

Non-sports pick - 8pm - Animal Planet - The Hippo: Africa's King Of The River - I just got HDTV, so yeah, on a little nature show kick. (Ed. note: My hall director freshman year of college was TERRIFIED of hippos. Even a mention of the animal would scare him.)

Syracuse Had A Worse Storming Of The Court Than Georgetown Game

 

I've been a fan of Syracuse since I was born. Both my parents went there, my sister went there, and I went there. I was there in 2003 when they won the National Championship. Syracuse fans have gotten some flack recently after storming the court after beating the eighth-ranked Georgetown Hoyas. Dan Steinberg of the DC Sports Bog points out just what was wrong with the Syracuse storming:

Georgetown isn't even a Top 5 national team to the fact that the Hoyas are now a fairly non-remarkable 4-3 on the road in the Big East to the fact that the Orange is now 17-9. All those being the case, how a court storm seemed even among the post-game possibilities is beyond me.

Of course Syracuse should not have stormed the court. Sure, a win over Georgetown is always big (no matter how ridiculously overrated they are), but Orange fans should show some restraint. That being said, I have to admit I was part of the most ridiculous storming(s) of the court ever.

It was 2003, or as Cuse fans like to call it, "The year Carmelo played." We had already rushed the court once after beating 11th ranked Missouri. We shouldn't have even stormed the court that game. But, then second-ranked Pittsburgh came to the Dome in an epic match-up. Tied at 65, Gerry McNamara drove to the lane, was doubled and put up a shot, and missed, but Jeremy McNeil was there to tip it in. The crowd went nuts and many people stormed onto the floor to celebrate. I'm proud to say I was not one of them. There was obviously still about one second left on the clock and Pitt was going to have another chance. The crowd had to head back to their seats. Pitt inbounded the ball and Brandin Knight put up a 3/4 length court shot and sunk it! The crowd rushed the court yet again. This time I was part of the masses. I had seen the shot and knew it was after the clock had expired, But, the officials weren't so sure and the crowd yet again had to go back to their seats. After they ruled it was no good, we rushed the court again. And that's the story of the only time in history (I can only imagine) fans have rushed the court three times in one game.

February 18, 2008

NBA All-Star Weekend - Now With More Sourpuss

Bernie Lincicome of the Rocky Mountain News has truly set the bar for curmudgeonly sports writers everywhere. I must say, this is truly amazing work. In just 800 words he manages to disparage not just NBA All-Star weekend, but how basketball players dress, the Pro Bowl, ESPN, the home run derby, gymnastics, the Denver Nuggets, the NHL all-star game, and the evilest of evils, figure skating.

"The affair encourages this kind of peacock flash and flaunt, or to use the official judging criteria, 'artistic ability, imagination, body flow and fan response,' reducing basketball to figure skating, or at least to one of Allen Iverson's drives to the basket."


Bravo, Mr. Lincicome. Your cantankerousness knows no bounds.

(Note: This post is from Dave, but since he has a "real job," I put it up for him.)