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We Hardly Knew Thee, Probably Knew You All Too Well, Sean

by Ryan Hudson

As you've no doubt heard by now, Sean Salisbury and ESPN have decided to go in their separate directions, as the former NFL quarterback has been replaced by Cris Carter. Salisbury had this to say yesterday in the Los Angeles Times:

"I'd grown tired of being punished for not being an NFL superstar. Analysts who don't work as hard as me, don't prepare as hard as me, and don't have my resume were making more than me just because of their ability to throw or catch a football. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the opportunity ESPN gave me, but they had capped my ceiling. There was only so far I could go there.”


I can't really imagine how much further you can go when like 80% of your schtick is based on making fun a "dork," but hey, best of luck.

In the off-camera world, Salisbury is probably best known for a little picture he took once.

The NFL analyst who shall not be named that took a picture of his penis with a cell phone camera and has shown it to numerous, uncomfortable women, then was suspended by his network for it. Absolute true story.


The guys at Joe Sports Fan took on the monumental task of compiling "a sampling of why Sean Salisbury was, um, whatever he was." As they point out, "He was and is, in fact, completely delusional. The man was absolutely driven by the fact that he wasn't a superstar in the NFL. To him, being on TV was his chance to be a star, and to prove all those naysayers wrong. What a sad, pathetic existence. But it’s an existence that we’ll forever celebrate."

It includes topics like Undying Passionate Love for Brett Favre ("You give me a leader, and I'll show you a winner. You give me a coward, and I won't show you Brett Favre!") and The MVP Debate (October 2, 2006: “(Donovan McNabb) right now, along with Rex Grossman, has to be the frontrunner for the MVP.”).

It just won't be the same with Chris Carter.