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June 13, 2008
by Jeff Briggs
After this news, I imagine this to be the scene at Luke Walton's house after Game 4.
(ring, ring)
Luke: Hello?
Voice: Hi, this is Paul Pierce and you are horrrrrible.
Luke: Dad, I’m not in the mood right now.
Bill: This isn’t dad, this is Paul Pierce, you’re a bum.
Luke: Dad, I know its you.
Bill: Nope, not dad, goodbye.
(click)
(seconds later, phone rings again)
Luke: Hello?
Voice: This is Ray Allen, and you stink and the Lakers stink.
Luke: Dad, come on, please stop, I’m gonna turn off my phone.
Bill: No, this is Ray Allen, I shoot 3-pointers well. You do not.
Luke: I’m hanging up.
(ring)
Luke: Damnit, dad, stop it.
Bill: This is Kevin Garnett. You suck at life. I will throw it down, because I am a big man.
Luke: I hope this is the last call.
(ring)
Luke: Seriously? Again?
Bill: This is Len Bias. Calling from heaven. I’m here with Reggie Lewis. You’re horrrrrible.
Luke: F*** you dad.
Bill: GOTCHA! It’s been me this whole time, your dad, Bill Walton!
Luke: Ugh, I know that Dad.
Bill: Man, I’m such a trickster, okay, I’ve gotta call Phil Jackson and pretend to be Red Auerbach now.
