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Super Bowl Rings Stolen

by Robbie Gillies

The AP is reporting that $2 million worth of jewelry was stolen over the weekend. Included in the heist were several New York Giants Super Bowl rings. I'm no Jim McNulty, but I think it's pretty obvious who is behind this heist.

The jewelry was stolen in Massachussetts.
The thieves made off with a safe that weighed over 1,000 lbs.
The rings celebrate the Giants win over the New England Patriots.

So, who's behind it? The mastermind himself, Bill Belichick.

He's never been one to play by the rules. I'm sure he's been videotaping the jewelry store for weeks plotting on how to get the Super Bowl rings he thinks he deserves. It's widely known that his players will do anything he says. I'm sure he could rope a couple linemen in to make off with a safe that weighs half a ton. Would you really put it past Belichick?