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August 28, 2008
by Robbie Gillies
We all knew there was something off about Usain Bolt. He destroyed the world record in the 100m, while celebrating during the last 20 meters. The most reasonable assumption was steroid use, but WIRED reveals Bolt's true secret: He's from the future!
Alright, so they didn't exactly say that, but based on a mathematical model that yielded this graph, Bolt's World Record time of 9.69 in the 100m wasn't supposed to happen until about 2030. According to the graph, the fastest a man could ever reach was 9.44 seconds, but Bolt's time throws off the entire graph. It just shows that nerds can't even get the science of sports right. Stick to Bunsen burners and petri dishes, guys.