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Pay Homage To Gamblor: Week 4

by Jeff Briggs

It takes about three weeks in the NFL season to have an idea of what teams are good, and who joins the Lions and Raiders in futility. The NFC East looks to be the most dominate division in recent football history, while the Rams and Chiefs may be historically bad. Both Missouri teams turn to geriatric quarterbacks this week to try to right the ship.

Seriously, what is going on with NFL quarterbacks this season? This week, six teams are starting quarterbacks who are 35 or older, only two of which were starting in Week 1. If these QB’s can’t cut it, are teams going to look for even older guys? Jason Whitlock might go insane if any more washed-up signal-callers start and Jeff George doesn’t get a phone call. Last week I went .500, this week I continue my quest to do better than a coin toss.

Last week: 8-8
Season: 21-25-1
Lock of the week: 2-1
Home team in CAPS

Picks after the jump.

Broncos (-10.5) over CHIEFS
The Broncos average 38 points per game, the Chiefs average less than 11, and are playing musical chairs with their quarterbacks (who are somehow averaging a paltry 3.74 yards/pass). This week: Damon Huard gets his turn again. Unfortunately, it doesn’t really matter who the Chiefs put back there, they won’t be the answer for this franchise.

BENGALS (-4) over Browns
Derek Anderson, starting NFL QB: December 7, 2006 – September 28, 2008. Possible resurrection after Brady Quinn is just as bad.

Texans (+7) over JAGUARS
The Jaguars don’t play games in which either team wins by more than 7 points, it just doesn’t happen.

Cardinals (+1) over JETS
Remember 2004 and 2005 Brett Favre? The guy who threw the same ill-advised throws, but they ended up interceptions far too frequently? 2008 Brett Favre is pretty close to those versions. Favre and Warner have made a deal: loser of this game buys a years supply of Metamucil for the winner. Old Man Warner will pull it out. LOCK OF THE WEEK.

SAINTS (-5) over 49ers
The Saints lost two tight road games the past two weeks, while the 49ers won against a receiver-less Seahawks and the Lions. After beating the Lions, Frank Gore said of his 49ers, “We could be the best offense in the league.” The Falcons probably thought the same thing after Week 1. Everyone who has beaten up on the Lions this season has lost their next game. I guess that’s what happens when you get used to playing a JV high school defense.

PANTHERS (-7) over Falcons
Matt Ryan’s last trip on the road didn’t work out so well. The Falcons have looked impressive against two of the worst teams in the NFL, but so would a team of sock puppets.

TITANS (-3.5) over Vikings
These two teams are mirror images of one another. Strong defenses who like to move the ball on the ground offensively, and now they’ve both replaced their at one-time promising young, black, mobile quarterbacks with white, journeymen QB’s, who are part of the 35-and-older club. The difference will be the ability of the Titans’ defense to get turnovers.

Bye (even) over LIONS
Somehow the Lions will find a way to give up 38 points this week.

Packers (-1) over BUCCANEERS
The Bucs are the only team that has started the season with a quarterback older than 35 (38 year old Jeff Garcia), and decided to go younger. Although, "going younger" for them still means starting a 33 year old.

Bills (-9) over RAMS
The Rams are worse than the Lions. Nothing more needs to be said.

Chargers (-9) over RAIDERS
Expect Oakland to look more like the Week 1 Raiders than the imposters that managed to look somewhat capable in Weeks 2 and 3.

Redskins (+11) over COWBOYS
I think I’m going to spend all weekend sitting on my couch waiting for this game to start. The Cowboys are a force of unspeakable evil that must be stopped. We Whoop On.

Eagles (-4) over BEARS
The Eagles are only getting 4 points? I understand that Westbrook and McNabb are both banged up, but they will probably both play and the Eagles D should be able to terrorize Kyle Orton.

STEELERS (-5) over Ravens
Joe Flacco hasn’t been on the road yet. He also has had the luxury of playing the Bengals and Browns, and yet, still he has no passing touchdowns. Despite their injuries, the Steelers should have no problem in this low scoring game.