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Three Recent Vehicular Police Incidents

by Jeff Briggs

First off, on Saturday night, Florida State WR Preston Parker was arrested after he fell asleep at the wheel in the McDonald's drive-thru line. The police report claims Parker’s blood alcohol content was below the state’s drunk-driving limit. However, his urine sample was presumptive positive for marijuana. Parker admits to drinking and smoking marijuana before his pre-Big Mac nap.

For the second incident, although it didn't happen over the weekend, video just came out of Ole Miss coach Adam Kennedy's police interactions stemming from his role allegedly punching a cab driver in the face and yelling racial slurs at him. The four-minute video has a few priceless moments.


The top highlights are Kennedy saying, "This could be an international incident," because of course the news of the drunken escapades of the Ole Miss basketball coach are the number one concern of all world leaders, from China to Somalia. Also, when Kennedy tried to explain to the officers the importance of dealing with someone in the national spotlight, the cop responds with this gem, "We deal with the Bengals all the time." Ha – only in Cincinnati.

And finally, last night in Tampa, right near the stadium, a woman ran her car straight into a police horse. No word on if she had seen one too many stupid Budweiser Clydesdale commercials and intentionally was targeting horses with her car.