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Julian Tavarez With Baseball Quote of the Year

by Ryan Hudson
tavares0328.jpg

Julian Tavarez, the combustible 35-year old pitcher showing his less-than-perfect-punching-form above, recently signed a non-guaranteed minor league contract with the Washington Nationals following a good performance for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. This deal comes months after the Nationals had originally offered Tavarez a contract. So why say yes now, after saying no thanks in November? Beer goggles, obviously.
"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavarez said told a group of reporters. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."
His J-Lo metaphor continued when asked if he'd like be to a starter or come out of the bullpen (he's played both roles during his 16-year career).
"I would like to be a starter, but it's like my father said: 'You want Jennifer Lopez, but does she want you? No.' You just take whatever she is giving to you. So I just take whatever they give to me."
I'll be honest -- I had no idea Tavarez had signed with the Nats. Is it a move that will help them win games? Probably not. Is it a move that will make them just an extra special bit of crazy. You betcha.

Tavarez joins a roster that already contains Scott Olsen, Lastings Milledge and Elijah Dukes. Should be a fun season.

H/T: Mr. Irrelevant