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Breaking: Giants Release Plaxico Burress

by Ryan Hudson
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In a quick-draw move, the NY Giants have announced they have released wide receiver Plaxico Burress.
“I am an optimist, and I believe most situations can be worked out,” said General Manager Jerry Reese. “We hung in there as long as we could in hopes that there could be a resolution to this situation other than the decision we made today to release Plaxico. It wasn’t to be, so now we have to move on. Like everybody else here, we want nothing but the best for Plaxico, and we are appreciative of the contributions he made to this franchise.”
Plenty of time to sit around in sweatpants now.