Inside Mr. Met's Head

July 25, 2010 11:00 PM

Job Opening: Phoenix Area WANTED: A Competent General Manager

PHP4859F02DD1163.jpgWe've reached critical mass of stupidity in Major League Baseball.


I am in absolute shock that Jerry DiPoto, interim General Manager (focus on the word interim because if the Diamondbacks retain this dude they deserve the Expos treatment) traded Dan Haren. Okay, the D'Backs are pretty terrible and are firmly in sell mode (earlier shipping away 1B/OF Connor Jackson) so I suppose the trade of Haren isn't that big of a big. I guess it was meant to happen.


I mean, I thought the Yankees package was pretty weak without Jesus Montero. I mean Joba, Ivan Nova, and a couple of other prospects isn't that bad of a package. Joba still has a slight chance of turning it around and...


Wait, the Diamondbacks didn't trade Haren to the Yankees? So where did he go?


The Angels?!


Okay, please tell me they at least got that Trout kid that everyone is buzzing about. I mean, the Diamondbacks could get some real talent for a dude with a career 3.69 xFIP. A pitcher worth nearly 14 wins in two and a half years? AND he's still under control for the next couple years?


No? Brandon Wood? I mean he's awful now but again, slight chance of a resurgence.


Joe Saunders, Patrick Corbin... I can't even finish this. Someone get me the bottle of Glenfiddich.


I have no vested interest in the success of the Diamondbacks. It's been almost ten years since the Diamondbacks have been relevant. But to trade clearly the best pitcher on your team for a bunch of scrubs? That's beyond cheap. That's simply gross incompetence. Josh Byrnes should be sitting at home and evilly laughing to himself as he lights up a gigantic cigar. His replacement just basically ruined a franchise.


DiPoto tried to rationalize the trade with the following quote:


"We're excited about the deal. It's a chance for us to restructure our roster and give it a little bit of a different look. One of the things we talked about in this room three weeks ago was the idea of taking our current big league club and connecting it with our greatest depth, which is at the A levels of the minor leagues. I think this deal did both of those. We achieved by maintaining major league quality with a 2008 All-Star in Joe Saunders and a guy who quite frankly has been one of the winners in Major League Baseball. I think he trails only Roy Halladay among major leaguers in total wins. He's won 63 percent of his games since coming to the major leagues, pitched in the postseason on two different occasions. He's a quality, durable, steady major league starter. We feel like this club needs that, and a guy with a good deal of playoff experience.


"He brings an element to our club that I think we need. The prospects involved in the deal bring us talent that we need to build with. Therefore I felt like this deal checked a lot of boxes for the Arizona Diamondbacks."

What. Quoting winning percentage? "Almost as many wins as Roy Halladay"?


Bring me a second bottle of something. Strong. I don't care what. Everclear? Shots for us all.


DiPoto, you [man of dubious mental capacity] you just gave up three years of Dan Haren for Joe Saunders and a gross misunderstanding of "organizational depth."


Here's a box to check: if Jon Heyman is the only person saying it's a good trade you probably screwed up.


I have no idea how DiPoto managed to make it up the organizational ranks in Arizona. A man who believes that he got fair value for Haren knows nothing about baseball. It makes me worry about these teams if guys like DiPoto work for them.

The bottom line is that this is embarrassing. It's embarrassing for the Diamondbacks and it's embarrassing for the rest of baseball that no team could come up with a better package and at least allow DiPoto the opportunity to not embarrass himself. It really depresses me that professional baseball organizations can allow this to happen.


These people who work in the front office are supposed to know what they're doing. Bloggers are told to shut up and let the teams do their thing because what do we know? We're just living in our parents basements and do nothing but whine and complain. That may be true, but idiotic ad hominem attacks do not make my points any less valid.


If any readers of this have the contact information for the Arizona Diamondbacks, please twitter me @andytworischuk. They're going to have a GM opening relatively soon. I'll send them my resume and a couple of spreadsheets or something.



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