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October 3, 2007 8:33 PM

If I Were The NBA Commissioner

-Isiah Thomas would be punished for his current actions by being forced to coach a WNBA team. No, I don’t think it will make him respect women, but if the punishment is having to watch 34 games of women’s basketball he’ll never sexually harass a woman again.

-There have been a lot of retired players talking about making comebacks. Reggie Miller, Charles Oakley, Scottie Pippen, Shawn Kemp, Penny Hardaway, and Allan Houston have all expressed interest in playing basketball this season. I’d let them start their own team and to appeal to their demographic the team would be located somewhere in Florida. They could be the Florida Fogies. But, instead of being an NBA team, I’d start a new league…the NBAARP. I’m sure more players will join to supplement their social security checks.

-The Sonics want to move to Oklahoma City, but Seattle wants to keep an NBA team. Also, there is a growing list of NBA players that are unhappy with their current situation. Here’s how to solve both problems: Let the Sonics move to Oklahoma City and give Seattle all of the disgruntled NBA players. The team would have Baron “I want a new contract” Davis at point guard, Kobe “I can’t do this by myself” Bryant at shooting guard, Shawn “I’m not appreciated” Marion at small forward, Andrei “I hate Jerry Sloan’s system” Kirilenko at power forward, and just for irony sake I’d add Tim “I don’t complain about anything” Duncan. Who in Seattle wouldn’t pay to see that?

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