“ The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!” --Homer Simpson
Last week: 6-8. Season 6-8.
Ugh, not a good start. Lets see if I can do better, because, well, a coin could have done better. Let's chalk it up to first column jitters. I learned my lesson and will put a little more faith in the home teams this week. Home team in caps...
Cowboys (-2) over GIANTS
It's the second half of the NFL season and the Giants are about to play real football teams with full grown adults instead of their recent slate of pop warner opponents. If I had a TV show this is where I'd take out my oversized lock or shoe.
CHIEFS (-3) over Broncos
Denver scored only seven points on the Detroit Lions. Add in the fact that Priest Holmes is back and averages 5 yards/carry against Denver in his career. Why would this game be any different? It's not like he's coming off a serious neck injury and two years out of the league...oh wait, right. But, Denver is only a big hit away from Patrick Ramsey time.
Panthers (-4) over FALCONS
Last time they played DeAngelo Hall had Steve Smith wrapped up most of the game, but then got 52 yards of penalties on consecutive plays. Smith said, "He took a cheap shot at me, ...That's the kind of player he is." Don't make Steve Smith angry. If Old Man Testeverde, or whoever the Panthers QB de jour is, can't get Steve Smith the ball, I'm writing the Panthers season off from here out. But last time Testeverde played a whole game Smith had 10 catches for 136 yards and a TD, so I'll take them this week.
Rams (+11.5) over SAINTS
Even with two straight blowouts the Saints haven't proved to me that they are good enough to get 12 points against anyone, even the lowly Rams. The Rams have Bulger and Jackson playing (although not 100%), the Rams still have the potential to go from the worst offense in the NFL to the best offense the Saints have played since maybe week 1 at Indy. I like the Saints to win, but I can't spot them 12.
PATRIOTS over bye week
Belichick will force the Patriots to show up at Foxbourgh and have Brady throw bombs to Moss all day, either not realizing or not caring that there is no opponent. He will then get angry at a make believe press conference and say, "we were just trying to win the football game."
CARDINALS (even) over Lions
I don't care if it was 44-7 last week and they are 6-2, the Lions aren't good. I've watched them play; they are a bad football team. On the plus side, if they make the playoffs I might bet a year's rent on them to lose in the first round.
REDSKINS (-3) over Eagles
Really, this game sounds like a push. The Redskins can't put opponents away and will probably allow the Eagles to hang around way too long and give them a chance to win late. On another note, I live in Philly and am a Redskins fans. So I'm set up for a week of running as fast as possible from my car to my house to avoid a gang beating.
SEAHAWKS (-10) over 49ers
The NFC west is so bad it makes me want to cry.
Colts (-3.5) over CHARGERS
Norv Turner is coaching against a good team. Lock it up.
TITANS (-4) over Jaguars
Garrard's a question mark, stay away
Bills (-3.5) over DOLPHINS
Cleo Lemon and Jesse Chatman names both sound British.
STEELERS (-9.5) over Browns
PACKERS (-6) over Vikings
Bengals (+4) over RAVENS
Bears (-3.5) over RAIDERS
College game of note, Tennessee is at home against Arkansas with an even line. Tennessee has been pretty good at home this year (undefeated good), and Arkansas has beaten one good team. I like good ole Rocky Top here.