Chris Duhon was recently suspended and in response the suspension said, "Usually, I don’t play anyway, so it doesn’t have that much of an effect on me." As you might have read, that made my day.
Well, Duhon was quickly de-throwned as King of sports sarcasm by Mariners Ichiro Suzuki. Ichiro had been 0-21 in his first 21 at bats of Spring training. He finally got his first hit Thursday against the Giants. In response to, what I'm sure was a barrage of annoying questions on the topic, Ichiro said (note - his comments ARE going through a translator):
Today, my feeling is kind of sad. It's sad to say goodbye [to the hitless streak]. Part of me wishes it would have gone on a little longer.
I was planning to keep the ball and send it to Cooperstown, but we couldn't get the ball back.
Either Ichiro has a great sense of humor, or that translator likes messing with people. I really hope it's the latter.