Since none of us know enough about soccer to write anything for today's Champions League final between Chelsea and Manchester United that would offer you, the reader, actual insight (I know that Chelsea's keeper, Petr Cech, is from Czech, and that he suffered a "depressed fracture of the skull" after taking a knee to head from Reading's Stephen Hunt in 2006 (you can see an x-ray here); I also just played "Which Team Has The Most Players Who's Names I recognize," and Chelsea won, with an impressive six names, so there's that.)), we instead scoured the intertubes and compiled some of the best previews out there. Enjoy.
Champions League final viewers guide - Martin Rogers, Yahoo! Sports
All the Champions League info you need! - The Beautiful Game
Manchester United need courage to keep going forward - Matt Dickinson, London Times
Champions League final build-up - BBC
15,000 Russian Cops Ready for Crowds in Moscow - AOL Fanhouse
It's Manchester United artistry against Chelsea's muscle - Henry Winter, The Telegraph
Will Moscow be red or blue? - Rob Hughes, International Herald Tribune