RealClearSports
Advertisement

RCS Sidelines


June 13, 2008 11:15 AM

Luke Walton's Postgame Phone Calls

After this news, I imagine this to be the scene at Luke Walton's house after Game 4.

(ring, ring)

Luke: Hello?



Voice: Hi, this is Paul Pierce and you are horrrrrible.

Luke: Dad, I’m not in the mood right now.

Bill: This isn’t dad, this is Paul Pierce, you’re a bum.

Luke: Dad, I know its you.

Bill: Nope, not dad, goodbye.

(click)

(seconds later, phone rings again)

Luke: Hello?

Voice: This is Ray Allen, and you stink and the Lakers stink.

Luke: Dad, come on, please stop, I’m gonna turn off my phone.

Bill: No, this is Ray Allen, I shoot 3-pointers well. You do not.

Luke: I’m hanging up.

(ring)

Luke: Damnit, dad, stop it.

Bill: This is Kevin Garnett. You suck at life. I will throw it down, because I am a big man.

Luke: I hope this is the last call.

(ring)

Luke: Seriously? Again?

Bill: This is Len Bias. Calling from heaven. I’m here with Reggie Lewis. You’re horrrrrible.

Luke: F*** you dad.

Bill: GOTCHA! It’s been me this whole time, your dad, Bill Walton!

Luke: Ugh, I know that Dad.

Bill: Man, I’m such a trickster, okay, I’ve gotta call Phil Jackson and pretend to be Red Auerbach now.

A Member Of