This baseball season, the Philadelphia Phillies went on a magical run, winning 17 of their final 25 games in September, cruising past the Brewers in the divisional round of the playoffs, beating the Dodgers in five games in the NLCS and then defeating the Rays 4-1 to capture their first World Series since 1980. Yesterday, they tried to continue their good fortune in the form of winning the presidential election. As of, 2:15pm ET today, they had earned 454 votes.
If they had won, the Phillies would have made sweeping changes to our country, including outlawing low-sliders to Ryan Howard, relaxing laws on car-flipping, ensuring Harry Kalas moderated all cabinet meetings and moving the White House fences in 10-20 feet.
UPDATE: The 700 Level, which should be your go-to source for everything Phillies, takes some of the fun out of this. There's a man in New Hampshire named George Phillies who was running for president.