Joey Porter, linebacker for the Miami Dolphins, who is quietly on pace to break the NFL single-season sack record, is all types of crazy-fun-excitement (see: his financial advice), let us count the ways.
On Saturday, Porter went back for a game at his alma mater, Colorado State, and actually managed to draw a 15-yard penalty against the Rams for celebrating. Seriously.
Then, on Sunday, after the Dolphins' 26-17 win at Denver, started a war-of-words with Broncos' wide receiver Brandon Marshall.
"He's one of those guys that if he don't get the ball in the first two series in the first quarter, he's out of it," Porter said. "He had 18 catches in a game before. So he's not used to going the whole first half with no balls. We got in his head and he pretty much was done. I didn't get inside his head, we just were talkin'. He got in his own head. He was done," Porter said. "He's one of those soft receivers, where he has to have the ball all the time. If he don't get it, he's going to mope and cry. He did it to himself."
Not one to back-down, Marshall responded.
“Joey Porter is one of those guys who, when you’ve got one of those guys that talk a lot of trash and just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities. His insecurities, I don’t know, but he’s definitely one of those guys who, you know, all those muscles are popcorn muscles, he’s soft. We hear stories floating around the league all the time about him you know, in night clubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or on the playground getting beat up in California. He’s one of those guys that you know, no matter how big he is can get knocked on his butt. He’s soft, he’s soft at heart and you can tell by the way he’s talking. His nickname is Peezy, I don’t know what “Peezy” is, Joey.
For the record, "Peezy" is "something or someone that is extra fly." Porter was quick to move on, though, and yesterday tried to shift his focus to Barack Obama, saying that, "Today is a celebration, man. I'm not worried about Marshall ... We're giving this guy too much limelight. Let's not talk about him." But Porter can only lay dormant for so long, and today he decided his new target was Jaguars' receiver Matt Jones, who is currently appealing a three-game suspension for violating the NFL substance-abuse policy after an arrest for cocaine possession.
"If I knew the answers, I'd still have 20 more thousand dollars," said Porter, who was fined $20,000 last month for criticizing referee Ed Hochuli after a loss to Houston. "But I'm still trying to figure out how a guy gets caught with cocaine in his car and still plays the game and nothing happens.
"He got caught with cocaine and Matt Jones is still playing football. How does he get away with that? And then you fine people $20,000 for making comments to the media about the refs. The guy got caught with cocaine."
Careful, John Carlson - you may be next (wow - the tight end is the leading receiver for the Seahawks?).