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December 26, 2008 11:05 AM

Pay Homage To Gamblor: Week 17

Betting on the last week of the NFL season is completely ridiculous. You have no idea which players are going to play and which will be watching from the sidelines in an extremely oversized coat. We can expect to see appearances this week from NFL stars and non-stars of past and future such as David Carr, Vince Young, Jim Sorgi, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Kyle Orton, and Tavaris “Fumbles” Jackson. The sad part is some of those quarterbacks have been playing multiple games this season, and at least one will play in the playoffs.

With that in mind, I have to go 16-0 this week to be .500% on the season. Crazier things have happened before, I guess.

Last week: 6-10
Season: 108-124-8
Lock of the week: 8-8

Home team in CAPS


BUCCANEERS (-13) over Raiders
Pirate Fight!

PACKERS (-9.5) over Lions

You’d think the Lions might come out with some pride and try to not be the first team to go 0-16, but then again, you might have thought they’d try to play hard last week. Instead they looked like they were playing Tiddlywinks or Flapdoodle, or something equally non-football related.

Cowboys (+1.5) over EAGLES

Fire Wade Phillips! Fire Andy Reid! Or, take them both to an Old Country Buffet and neither will come back.

VIKINGS (-7) over Giants

Don’t expect to see any Giants you know out on the field. Also, don’t expect to see any talented Vikings quarterbacks out on the field.

Bears (+2.5) over TEXANS

The Bears will probably find a way to win against a more talented team again, because that’s what they do, but it will be too little, too late to make the playoffs.

SAINTS (+3) over Panthers

The Panthers are going to somehow miss out on the division crown after being just a missed field goal away from the #1 overall seed. On the plus side, they will beat the Cardinals by roughly 40 points in the first round of the playoffs and then beat the Giants in New York.

FALCONS (-14) over Rams

Think Mike Vick is happy the Falcons are doing so well, or more bitter and upset?

Chiefs (+3) over BENGALS

Marvin Lewis couldn’t possible finish with three straight wins, not even against Herm Edwards.

RAVENS (-12) over Jaguars

I’m really glad that I am not a Jacksonville offensive player this week. With the playoffs still on the line, the Ravens defense is going to beat them silly.

Titans (-3) over COLTS

Neither of these teams have anything to play for, so with few starters, and no Manning for the Colts, don’t expect a win from Indy.

STEELERS (-10.5) over Browns

The Steelers could rest their top 42 players, play the remaining 11 both-ways, and still win this game.

Dolphins (+3) over JETS

Karma has to be on the side of Chad Pennington.

Patriots (-6.5) over BILLS

Going 11-5 and missing the playoffs has to be infuriating.

Seahawks (+6) over CARDINALS

The Cardinals have looked dead since clinching their playoff berth. But Kurt Warner’s hero came back to life after being dead, so… who knows?

49ERS (-3) over Redskins

As much as this is the most frustrating season I can remember as a Redskins fan, still, I predicted 8-8 coming into the season. In retrospect I shouldn’t be nearly as upset with this season when it’s over as I will be.

Broncos (+8) over CHARGERS

I just get the feeling this is going to be a really close game. Also, as soon as it ends, go ahead and bet $6 million on the winner to lose next week.

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