RCS Sidelines

August 13, 2009 4:40 PM

Jason Whitlock: Don't Blame Pitino, He's Just A Man

Here's the thing about Jason Whitlock. Sometimes, he's one of the best columnists in the country. But other times ... well, other times he writes columns like his latest at Fox Sports, "Pitino ran into the biggest dynasty in sports."

That dynasty: the female sex. Or, using Whitlock's term (and one-time James Bond character) - "Pussy Galore."

You see, Rick Pitino is not to blame for having sex with Karen Sypher and then giving her $3,000 for health care/an abortion. In fact, he is just the latest unfortunate soul who gave into the TEMPTATION.

Adding Rick Pitino, Josh Hamilton and Reggie Miller to her list of victims, Pussy Galore's record remains unblemished and unprecedentedly gaudy since the beginning of the decade when A.C. Green escaped the NBA untainted by her joys [...]

As my mother would say, she's a bitch on a bicycle. Respect her and her power or risk experiencing her wrath.

Pitino should've coughed up the $10 million. His reputation will never recover.

Whitlock says he doesn't want to make excuses for Pitino. So, obviously, he does exactly that.
I don't want to rationalize his gross error, but you know damn well Pussy Galore's BFF (booze) played a major role in this fiasco. This sounds like the mother of all Patron body shots that skidded way off course.

Like [Josh] Hamilton, Pitino should take the Jamie Foxx route and blame it on the al-al-al-cohol.

So remember kids: adultery is OK, so long as you're drunk.

Amazingly, Pitino is not even the biggest sucker in this story. That dubious title belongs to Tim Sypher, Louisville's equipment manager, and now the husband of Karen Sypher (note the similar last names).

The truly enlightening tale is the aftermath, the fact that Louisville's conditioning coach, Tim Sypher, would learn the details and conclude Karen would make a wonderful bride.

Just think about that and ask yourself if there is a more powerful force on this planet than Pussy Galore.

Tim Sypher went to work every day with his head high and a smile on his face despite knowing his boss knocked boots on a dirty restaurant floor with his wife within hours of meeting her and then financed her abortion.

If love is blind, lust is deaf, dumb and blind.

What's that? You don't agree with Whitlock that Pitino is blameless in this situation? Well, he has his own judgment for you, too, and it involves your sexual preference. play for a team that never schedules Pussy Galore as an opponent.
Let's recap, shall we?

- Pitino is okay in what he did, because, hey, come on -- who can say no? Am I right? Guys, you know what I'm sayin'!
- Look at all these other guys who have done the same type of thing. Clearly the women are to blame.
- You don't agree with Whitlock? Eh, whatever, you're probably gay anyways.

Pitino ran into the biggest dynasty in sports - Jason Whitlock
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