I've tried to stay clear of this whole Tiger mess. People talk to me about the different girls and what the tally is up to and they're surprised that I don't know much about it considering I work on a sports website. I don't care - and you shouldn't either. But this post isn't about me thumbing my nose at an American culture seemingly run on gossip. This is because I need to share one amazing column by Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle. It's entitled "Could Tiger become bigger than he was before?" Sounds intriguing and he hooked me early:

The conventional wisdom seems to be that Tiger Woods will not recover from his fall from grace.

But it's possible that Tiger a year or so down the road will be 10 times bigger than he was before the fall.

Alright, I've actually been thinking the same thing. People forgive and if he comes back and wins than it will be a story of redemption and everyone will be able to relate a little bit to a story of someone coming back from a hard time in their life. But then the article takes a drastic turn.

Ostler talked to Lee Housekeeper, a public relations expert who told a story of how Jim Morrison and the Doors became famous. They sang on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and were told to change the lyric, "Girl, we couldn't get much higher," to "couldn't get much better." Well, Morrison sang the original lyric and it put them in the national spotlight. Or as Ostler states, "America loves a madman. Especially if the madman is also a marvelously gifted entertainer who is oversexed and out of control." Now it's getting fun!

"This could be unbelievable for golf," Houskeeper said. "If Tiger gets divorced and starts dating, look out. It was one thing for people to watch golf to see Tiger's skill. Now he could take golf to the rock 'n' roll level."

We're really entering Happy Gilmore area now.

Let's assume he does what he should do, which is work like a dog to make amends to Elin and the kids, make the divorce as easy on them as possible, then get back to the business of being what we now know is the real Tiger: a golfing Elvis.
Obviously, Tiger was horribly miscast as Ozzie Nelson.
"Rehab?" says Houskeeper. "Geez, I hope not. Let Tiger be Tiger."

Yeah! Who cares if he has a sex or drug addiction? Tiger should just embrace his lifestyle! He should stroll down the 18th green with two ladies on each arm as old women in sun hats throw their bras at him. Just get out there and be a huge spectacle! That's pretty much what you're saying. Don't get me wrong, that would he hilarious and I would love it. But I don't think Tiger is quite ready for that, nor is the PGA. For some reason I don't think the PGA and their sponsors would be too keen on the "golfing Elvis."