I'm back for another season of most-likely wildly off-base inaccurate predictions. Last season I finished with a 118-132-4 record, making it two straight seasons under .500. I'm effectively the NFL prognosticating version of Dick Jauron, thankfully I can't get fired for sucking.

I'd say this season lines up to be one of the most unpredictable years in a long time, but really no NFL year is ever predictable, so this season will be right in line with all the rest. One thing that is odd about Week 1 of the 2010 season is the lack of big lines. Last season there were six lines set at a TD or higher, this season there are none. Maybe that means the NFL just scheduled a slate of good games to kick off the season, but more likely it means no one, Vegas included, knows what to expect from about half the league.

I'm not gonna make the mistake to promise that I will take advantage of the Vegas confusion and do well. I will however promise that I will do better than the Rams this season.

Home team in CAPS

Vikings (+5.5) over SAINTS
For the record, I think both of these teams won't be as good as they were last year. The Saints defense is suspect and there is no way Brett Favre can replicate his success from last year. But if there is any time Favre will shine it's a regular season night game; the attention of a national audience, but not the pressure of the playoffs.

Panthers (+6.5) over GIANTS
In no way am I sold on Matt Moore leading the Panthers to the playoffs, or a winning record, but I am sold on the Giants eventually falling apart - and what better season than this one. I know preseason doesn't matter, but the Giants looked absolutely horrendous. Expect the slide they started last year to continue in 2010.

Dolphins (-3) over BILLS
Tired of being below average the Bills brought in... Chan Gailey? That's the equivalent of being tired of mediocre food and deciding to go to Applebee's.

Falcons (-2.5) over STEELERS 

Big Ben has reached the fabulous status where best case scenario, he's dumb, and worst case he is a dangerous predator. Now he has to spend four weeks away from the Steelers, all members of the Steelers, and all Steelers facilities. I hope he hired someone to handcuff him to his treadmill and/or bed in order to keep him from harassing women (allegedly) or running his motorcycle into things.

Lions (+6.5) over BEARS 
It's entirely possible the Lions could be a better team than the Bears this year. Of course there's also the possibility that I've gone right out of my mind.

PATRIOTS (-4.5) over Bengals 
No way the Bengals hold it together this season. Have they ever had two consecutive good seasons? People shouldn't forget that Marvin Lewis is still a horrible head coach. This game will also feature the highest ratio of egos to wide receivers of any game this season.

BUCCANEERS (-3) over Browns 
I still believe the Browns may have been the worst team in the NFL last year. No way bringing in Jake Delhomme to throw interceptions is the 'big fix' this team needed.

JAGUARS (-3) over Broncos 
It's a home game for the Jaguars so there may be upwards of 65 people in attendance. But even if this game is played in a vacuum MJD is still going to be able to run wild over Denver.

Colts (-2.5) over TEXANS 
The Texans appear to be on the rise, but let's not forget they've appeared that way for the past three seasons or so, with no playoff appearances yet. They may or may not make that playoff push this year, but either way, the Colts are still a behemoth. 

TITANS (-6.5) over Raiders 
Obviously the Raiders are instantly a billion times better without JaMarcus Russell as their QB, but don't forget that they are still the Raiders. The defense is solid but they still have a very weak offense even with supremely improving at the quarterback position.

Packers (-3) over EAGLES 
Green Bay's offense is really good and they could easily mimic the Saints from last year. The Eagles meanwhile have turned the reigns over to Kevin Kolb. I'm sure Chris Berman is already excited about the chance to call him Corn on the Kolb or Kolb Salad, or Kevin Kolb-lestone, or say it's time for him to dust off the Kevin Kolb-webs. For all our sake, let's hope he gives Berman as little reason as possible to use these nicknames and more.

49ers (-3) over SEAHAWKS 
Pete Carroll came to Seattle to rebuild, and he is going a little nuts as the Seahawks have made 130+ rosters moves. But a flurry of offseason activity doesn't automatically transfer into on-field success. The Seahawks will struggle and the world will slowly remember that Pete Carroll is not a very good NFL coach.

Cardinals (-4) over RAMS 
The Rams went 1-15 last season and seemingly the only improvement they made was changing QBs to go with top draft pick Sam Bradford. It's a step towards improving in the long-term, but in the short term (right now) the Rams still are (and will be) awful. The Cardinals will also be significantly worse than last year, but luckily for them they won't get much of a test here in Week 1.

REDSKINS (+3.5) over Cowboys 
When in doubt in a Redskins/Cowboys game it's always a good idea to take the points if it's any more than 3. Hopefully Shanahan and Haynesworth work out their differences so it can stop looming over the Redskins. Maybe seeing Andre Gurode lined up across from him will remind Albert of his face stomping days and fire him up for the whole season.

Ravens (+2.5) over JETS 
LOCK OF THE WEEK 
Both of these teams are popular Super Bowl picks, but I think the hype around the Jets is ridiculous. They were incredibly close to missing the playoffs last year, sure they made a good playoff run but they aren't a Super Bowl team. Sanchez can't lead the Jets to where they need to be, replacing Thomas Jones with LaDanian Tomlinson is not an upgrade, and Holmes is out the first four games of the season. The Ravens will roll in this game.

Chargers (-4.5) over CHIEFS 
I'm holding out on writing up Chargers games. It just seems to make sense since all their stars were or still are holding out. Despite a lot of turnover and hold outs they should still be able to handle the Chiefs.