So apparently Bears WR Sam Hurd was running a drug empire in his spare time. My question is how is this possible? Doesn't being an NFL player require lots of hours of work? How does he have the time to buy drugs, transport them, cut and package them, and then sell them? Obviously he has a whole structure of people working for him and doing the majority of the work, but even still running a drug empire seems like it would take a lot of hours out of your day. And how can you go back and forth between hard-working good locker room guy and hardened kingpin?

Anyways, two weeks to go, five games to make up to get to .500 for the season.

Last Week: 7-8-1
Season: 105-110-9
Lock of the Week: A fully embarrassing 4-10-1

Home team in CAPS

Texans (-6) over COLTS
The Colts won a game. They are still awful.

Raiders (+1.5) over CHIEFS
The Chiefs beat the Packers, I get that, but they still have all the same problems that they had before beating the Packers. And yes, the Raiders are reeling, but they are still overall a much better team than the Chiefs.

Broncos (-3) over BILLS
Can the Broncos get it done now that their streak is over and their momentum has slowed? Are they actually a good team or just a team that was riding a hot streak? This game should help figure that out. They lose this game, they won't make the playoffs.

TITANS (-7.5) over Jacksonville
It'd be very hard to pick Jacksonville to do anything after their horrible performance Thursday. Do the Jaguars go Jimmy Clausen on Blaine Gabbert and give up on him after one season? They probably should (although in his defense, he doesn't exactly have a great stable of receivers to work with).

Cardinals (+4) over BENGALS
Both of these teams seem to constantly play games decided by three points, so the clear move is to take the team getting four.

PATRIOTS (-9.5) over Dolphins
Who is ready for the Patriots to finish the season strong and then lose in the playoffs? Everyone? Good.

RAVENS (-13) over Browns
Remember what Ray Rice did to the Browns three weeks ago? This time he's at home.

JETS (-3) over Giants
The best thing about this game is that one New York fanbase will be flipping out when it's over. Obviously the worst thing about this game is that one New York fanbase will be gloating when it's over. Sidenote: If you weren't sure if you hated Mark Sanchez or not there is now a rumor that he is dating Kate Upton. Jealousy alert!

Vikings (+6.5) over REDSKINS
With the Redskins, Carlos Rogers couldn't catch anything, now with the 49ers he is one off the league lead. Supposedly when Rodgers got to San Francisco the team sent him to an eye doctor who determined that he should be wearing contacts. How the Redskins never thought to check their players' vision escapes me. Next year someone will probably sign Fred Davis and find out his legs were glued together and he will catch 130 passes for 2,000 yards and 22 touchdowns.

PANTHERS (-7.5) over Buccaneers
Lock of the Week
The only reason they haven't fired Raheem Morris is because they have no one better to replace him? That is not a good sign. "Yeah, we'd fire our coach, but all our assistants are extra horrible. Hey, free agents, come play in Tampa!"

STEELERS (-16) over Rams
In the words of the Rock - Who is going to play quarterback for these teams? IT DOESN'T MATTER who is going to play QB for either team. 

Chargers (+2.5) over LIONS
If the Chargers were a boxer they'd get knocked down twice in each of the first six rounds, but then proceed to dominate the flow of the fight in the last six. They'd still lose on points.

If the Chargers were a restaurant they'd serve you a bowl of soup filled with hair and fingernails, then prepare you a succulent filet mignon with perfectly roasted fingerling potatoes.

If the Chargers were lovers they would spend foreplay awkwardly fumbling around, crying, and vomiting, but then they'd finish strong and take you to pleasure town.

Regardless, until they find a way to put together a whole season they aren't gonna be the big winners.

49ers (-2.5) over SEAHAWKS
Time for the Seahawks slight playoff hopes to come to an end. The 49ers are too solid and well rounded, they won't get gashed by the run or turn the ball over repeatedly which are the two ways the Seahawks have been winning games.

Eagles (+1.5) over COWBOYS
Prepare for insane NFC East week 17. It's happening.

PACKERS (-13) over Bears
Josh McCown to the rescue! Poor Bears.

SAINTS (-6.5) over Falcons
Saints at home are too strong.