Week 3 of the NFL season will kick off in less than 48 hours and we figure it's about time we got some answers in the Grill Room.
Answers to what? That's another question, sluggo. I said we're looking for answers around here.
Answers to stuff like...
Why does God hate Michigan?
Here's why we're asking: Because isn't it bad enough that Kid Rock calls the place home? What, a 15.6 percent unemployment rate isn't high enough that these poor people also have to watch their football team go on strike each Sunday?! If the Lions don't win at home against the impotent Redskins this weekend, they will become only the second team in NFL history to have lost at least 20 straight games. Then they'll have nothing between them and the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Yucks, who fumbled their way to a record 26 losses in a row. Good Michiganders all over the state will be dropping to their knees Sunday praying for one stinking win. And, if God forbid, they come up short yet again, they can least give thanks that many of them weren't forced to watch it.
Are Buddy boys' Jets for real?
Here's why we're asking: Because after watching 'em whack Tom Terrific's Patsies around Giants Stadium last week, the J-E-T-S Jets, Jets, Jets are almost deserving of a Stadium that bears their own name. A desperate Titans' squad will be throwing hay-makers when it shows up at the home of the Giants to play the Jets Sunday. If the Jets win this brawl, they get to call it Jiants Stadium for a week.
Will Jerry's 'Boys make the most of their do-over against Carolina Monday night?
Here's why we're asking: Because after dropping enough money to take the Michigan unemployment rate down by about 10 percent, the Cowboy owner stuck his rootin'-tootin' finger in his nose and looked on Sunday night as the hated Giants crashed his celebration for himself. Oh, yeah, and his team also lost the first game ever in their new palace. Jerry gets another chance for a Texas-size pat on the back Monday night when his pards take on the struggling Panthers. Note to Jerry: Bring Kleenex this time.
But enough with the questions.
Here's what else is on the Football Friday Menu in the Grill Room:
Take your pick
For informational purposes only...some picks for Week 3 action around the NFL brought to you by folks who most likely know as much about the game as you do:
This Week's Grill Room NFL 100-PROOF lock: Philadelphia over Kansas City minus-9.5
Who says anger isn't a great motivator? Well, we're angry as hell in the Grill Room and we're not going to take anymore.
We are completely fried about steering you toward the slop that passes for a football team in Washington last week. The No. 20 Deadskins crawled to nine frickin' points against the visiting No. 29 Rams. Nine! Congress gets more done than Jim Zorn's offense for crying out loud!
So we're sorry about that one, folks. And angry -- but not as angry as the No. 9 Eagles will be when they take the field at the Stink Sunday against No. 27 Kansas City.
The Iggles once-proud defense was absolutely shredded by The Saints "Most Offensive Show on Earth" last week, giving up 48 points! To put that in perspective, consider that you have to go all the way back to 1962, or before the owner of the Grill Room even had his first drink, for a poorer effort. And at least that squad gave up 49 to Vince Lombardi's vaunted Packers that day.
Lombardi's Packers-Sean Peyton's Saints equals Jumbo-shrimp.
It was that bad against the Saints...So it's a pretty good bet Kansas City is going to run into an angry flock of Eagles this week -- Donovan McNabb or no Donovan McNabb.
Sidebar: Michael Vick is expected to make his debut Sunday. Look for him in loads of cleanup action after the birds use anger as a tool to wallop the Chiefs.
Lay the points.
(Season record: 1-1)
Tape it up
Beware the injury, and there are plenty of 'em around the NFL as you'll see here.
The No. 1 Giants suffered a significant blow when they learned starting safety Kenny Phillips is done for the year with a knee injury. Phillips, an emerging star, picked off Tony Romo twice in the Giants' 33-31 victory over the 'Boys Sunday night.
If you can't stop by the Grill Room, here's the college and pro football fare that's cooking on the tube this weekend:
(For our U.S. military viewers and their families overseas the games American Forces Network will be showing are in bold.)
Friday, Sept. 25
Missouri at Nevada, 9 p.m., ESPN
Saturday, Sept. 26
Michigan State at Wisconsin, Noon, ESPN
LSU at Mississippi State, SEC Network
Indiana at Michigan, Noon, ESPN2
Minnesota at Northwestern, Noon, Big Ten Network
Southern Miss at Kansas, Noon, FSN
South Florida at Florida State, Noon, ESPNU
Cornell at Yale, Noon, Versus
North Carolina at Georgia Tech, Noon, Raycom
San Diego State at Air Force, 2 p.m., Mtn.
Miami at Virginia Tech, 3:30 p.m., ABC
California at Oregon, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Illinois at Ohio State, 3:30 p.m., ABC
Arkansas at Alabama, 3:30 p.m., CBS
UTEP at Texas, 3:30 p.m., FSN
Pittsburgh at North Carolina State, 3:30 p.m., ESPNU
Western Kentucky at Navy, 3:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Florida at Kentucky, 6 p.m., ESPN2
Colorado State at BYU, 6 p.m., Mtn.
Arizona State at Georgia, 7 p.m., ESPNU
Arizona at Oregon State, 7:30 p.m., Versus
Louisville at Utah, 7:30 p.m., CBS CSN
Iowa at Penn State, 8 p.m., ABC
Notre Dame at Purdue, 8 p.m., ESPN
Texas Tech at Houston, 9:15 p.m., ESPN2
New Mexico State at New Mexico, 10 p.m., Mtn.
Washington State at USC, 10:15 p.m. FSN
Sunday, Sept. 27
Cleveland at Baltimore 1 p.m., CBS
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati 1 p.m., CBS
Washington at Detroit 1 p.m., FOX
Jacksonville at Houston 1 p.m., CBS
San Francisco at Minnesota 1 p.m., FOX
Atlanta at New England 1 p.m., FOX
Kansas City at Philadelphia 1 p.m., CBS
Green Bay at St. Louis 1 p.m., FOX
N.Y. Giants at Tampa Bay 1 p.m., FOX
Tennessee at N.Y. Jets 1 p.m., CBS
New Orleans at Buffalo 4:05 p.m., FOX
Chicago at Seattle 4:05 p.m., FOX
Denver at Oakland 4:15 p.m., CBS (jip)
Miami at San Diego 4:15 p.m., CBS
Indianapolis at Arizona 8:20 p.m., NBC
Monday, Sept. 28
Carolina at Dallas 8:30 p.m., ESPN
(All times EST)