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September 7, 2009 8:51 AM

Washing Gilmore down with Tequila


I tell ya these holiday weekends really reek havoc on the staff of the Grill Room.

With college football finally blowing up all over the place, things got so busy our crew had to redirect many of our wobbly patrons toward other establishments serving tasty sports morsels at World Sports Blogs.

And if that weren't enough...we are still cleaning up this morning after a fairly ugly incident involving ESPN college football 'analyst' Rod Gilmore.

Worse, this sorry scene transpired even before we were able to get into the Tila Tequila (pictured above with Charger LB Shawne Merriman). But more on all that below.

Within the first five minutes of the Mississippi-Memphis game Sunday, Gilmore had managed to seamlessly pick up where he left off over the past decade or so botching games for the Mickey Mouse sports network.

Gilmore was in mid-season form as he scolded Memphis for trying to do business running the ball toward the boundaries of the fast Rebel defense.
That seemed fair enough until about four minutes later, on the Tigers' second possession, when Rod the Informer was questioning why Memphis was testing the interior of the beefy Mississippi D-line -- an angry bunch of Rebels who were allegedly embarrassed a year ago when the Tigers ran right through them.

So, unless I am missing an option here, all that was left for the Tigers to do where Gilmore was concerned was have their target-shy QB Arkelon Hall (15-of-30, 110 yds, 2 INTs) heave the ball out of bounds another 32 times or so, and flat abandon the rushing game altogether.

Of course it's a good thing they didn't. Memphis managed to bang out a very respectable 150 yards on the ground against the defense Gilmore predicted it couldn't run against, and kept the game respectable until late in the third quarter.

So it went for Gilmore, who also is apparently equipped with x-ray vision. He was aghast, aghast I tell you (!), when the refs didn't reverse a Mississippi fumble call following an interception in the first half.
To all in the Grill Room it was clear that there simply wasn't the irrefutable evidence needed on the replays to overturn the bang-bang call, and give the Rebels the ball back. Yet Gilmore was convinced he had somehow seen something the rest of us didn't.

Throw in Gilmore's penchant for confusing the two teams throughout the telecast, and, well, by now the crowd in the Grill Room was roiling and wanted his mouth on a platter. Thankfully, our busy bouncers sprung into action and tossed Gilmore and his mustache out on the street.

Why the otherwise solid play-by-player, Joe Tessitore, doesn't sue for lack of support is beyond us at the Grill Room.

But we're past that now, and have assembled an all-you-can-eat Labor Day menu filled with all kinds of treats from around the football world.

As always, thanks for your patronage.

Today's Entrees:

Rack of Sam
Did Oklahoma QB Sam Bradford make the correct decision coming back to play in his senior year?
(Comes with a side order updating Bradford's condition.)

Seymour Slop
Former Patriots all-pro defensive lineman Richard Seymour got the business when he was traded to the bottom-feeding Oakland Raiders on Sunday.

Choice Cuts

  • Super Bowl XLII hero David Tyree was all class when he was handed his walking papers by the Giants Saturday.
  • Did the Raiders do QB Jeff Garcia a favor by cutting him loose?
  • Former Eagles QB A.J. Feeley was bitten by the Michael Vick signing, but he most likely won't stand Pat. (Comes with a side order updating Vick's status.)
Tequila Sunrise
According to a statement, San Diego star linebacker Shawne Merriman says he was only trying to help when he allegedly choked back Tequila Sunday morning.

Buffalo Wings
Former offensive coordinator Turk Schonert told a Buffalo television station Friday afternoon he was fired because the Bills' offense "wasn't simple enough" for coach Dick Jauron.

Leftover Duck
Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount called Boise State defensive end Byron Hout and coach Chris Petersen to apologize for the punch he threw following Thursday's game in Boise.

Texan Holdout Chili
Star cornerback Dunta Robinson ended his holdout Sunday and signed a one-year contract with the Houston Texans, who say there are no hard feelings.

(Associated press photo)



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