Good sports-writing takes a beating
So you are a beat writer for the Detroit Lions or the Cleveland Browns.You know that you have never really worked a day in your life. You feign being put upon and miserable to your friends and colleagues, who unwittingly play along and bemoan the twisted fate that has lead to you bearing witness to some of the worst NFL football ever played.
You give 'em that grin-and-bear-it sigh, but deep down inside you know the only thing easier and more entertaining than covering a truly great team, is covering a truly rotten one.
So you headed to Ford Field yesterday after spending the week memorizing every synonym for the word, awful. You are prepared to unleash these words early, often and in no certain order to describe what will undoubtedly transpire when these two NFL laughingstocks stumble onto the field play.
You are loaded up on hot dogs, coke and a bucketful of sarcasm. Yours is a thankless chore, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
And then the unthinkable happens.
Brady Quinn and Matthew Stafford channel Joe Namath and Johnny Unitas and light up the stadium to the tune of 736 yards and nine touchdowns. You watch a game in which the Lions neither win in regulation, nor overtime.
Instead, they pull out a 38-37 thriller when they are awarded an un-timed play after a pass interference call on the Browns in the end zone on the last of play of regulation.
This last play is run only after Stafford is literally peeled off the field by his lineman after being flattened following the pass to the end zone. So the kid limps to the line and fires a missile to Brandon Pettigrew for the game-winning touchdown.
Like Jack Buck, you can't believe what you just saw.
Now your editor is on the phone asking for all kinds of copy. Even the news side of the operation wants in on this action.
You tell 'em both to calm down. The game wasn't that great.
Now onto a sampling of what the nation's sportswriters and columnists are saying about their football teams across every NFL city, because in the Grill Room we love the newspaper business, even if it hates itself.
(1) Indianapolis 17
(12) Baltimore 15
- For Colts, perfect is as perfect does.
- At 5-5, Ravens are a poor excuse for good football team.
(25) Washington 6
- How did the Dallas attack become so offensive?
- 'Skins show heart and Cowboys stomp on it.
(31) Cleveland 37
- Stafford's fallen, but he can get up.
- Here come the losses, there go the fans.
(21) San Francisco 24
- Packers sprint to lead, but are brought to their knees at finish.
- Should 49ers change to cover spread?
(26) Buffalo 15
- Stubborn Jaguars keep finishing what they start.
- There will be hell to pay until the Bills arrive.
(6) Pittsburgh 24 OT
- Haley cools down and his team brings the heat.
- Steelers pass on the run and land with a thud.
(24) Seattle 9
- Dominating Vikings only raise their hands when they're sure.
- Use Hutch for a crutch? How about a wheelchair?
(11) Atlanta 31 OT
- Good Eli puts end to bad stretch for Giants.
- Falcons lost, but might have saved season by finding Ryan.
(27) Tampa Bay 7
- Saints Brees to win, then tune into Brady's bunch.
- Freeman falls, and fans take a pass.
(29) St. Louis 13
- A Kurt reminder that Leinart might not be answer.
- Rams' Stone Age offense not a sign of the times.
(18) Denver 3
- Chargers trash Broncos, McDaniels.
- Broncos are at a loss to make it stop.
(23) N.Y. Jets 14
- Patriots take charge of East by going Wes.
- Jets' struggling QB is off the Mark -- again.
(4) Cincinnati 17
- Raiders get a miraculous win behind Bruce almighty.
- Bengals lower themselves to Raiders' level, then go lower.
(22) Chicago 20
- At times they were tough to Bear, but Eagles pulled it out.
- Bears, Cutler show only passing interest in the playoffs.
