This is a test to see if we are capable yet of turning around golf copy in the Grill Room without referencing Tiger Woods' Chamberlain-esque mating habits.
Guess not, even if David Feherty is imploring the press to lay off poor, poor Tiger. For the uninitiated, this is the one and only place on the Internet that the enabling Irishman gets no free pass. That Tiger emerges from his mess as clean as possible would be good for business at the network that employs Feherty (pictured), and thus good for him. But nice try, David.
Before moving on to other golf-related things, we'll offer you this bit of profundity:
Even though Woods' has carved up his image like some ugly triple-bogey on the 18th hole of a major, don't expect his golf game to follow.
He is the same guy he always was.
OK, outside the gravitational pull of Tiger's vast galaxy of bimbos, there was actually some other news being made in the golf world...
Perhaps the toughest tournament of the year came to a grueling conclusion Monday. There were 25 winners and 127 losers when the 108-hole PGA Tour National Qualifying Tournament came to a merciful finish in West Palm Beach, Fla.
Those 25 lucky golfers able
to shoot 9-under or better over the six days under the Florida sunshine
and intense heat, secured their sacred PGA Tour cards for the 2010
The rest of those unfortunate souls will be resigned to writing letters to tour sponsors begging to play the odd PGA tournament in the coming season, returning to club pro jobs, giving up the game altogether, or, in most instances, plying their trade on the Nationwide Tour, and the other lesser professional circuits about.
The difference between having a tour card and not having one is about the same as owning the bank or working as one of its tellers.
Troy Merritt was the medalist in the event thanks to a spiffy 22-under mark. Merritt gained $50,000, and reportedly didn't lose much hair in the stressful process.
The same can't be said for many former PGA Tour winners who did not qualify for the 2010 season, among them former British Open champs David Duval and Todd Hamilton, along with Tim Herron, and former PGA Champion Shaun Micheel. Two-time tour winner, and Tiger-basher Jesper Parnevik withdrew from the event, when, allegedly, he was offered a permanent seat on The View...
Tiger's Tournament Jim-Dandy
The guy who apparently is unable to drive a car as far as a golf ball
Tiger was nice enough, however, to take three minutes out of his busy weekend to type a message on his website thanking everybody for being there, and contributing to wife Elin's allimony fund.
Anyway, Jim Furyk won the event, and in a bit of irony wore a red shirt on the final day in doing so. Furyk called the choice of color a coincidence, and was hoping Tiger would return a supportive text message he sent along when the number of babes Tiger had allegedly bopped stood at only two.
Understand that the only people more worried than Feherty and Tiger as his hotties keep tip-toeing out of the tulips, are his fellow players. What's good for Tiger has always been what's good for the tour, and their wallets...That Sinking Feeling
Finally, this interesting tidbit from Golf Magazine, which took a poll of its Top-100 teachers and asked them to rate the Top-10 putters of all time.
In the end, Tiger edged Jack Nicklaus for the top spot. We'll agree with that assessment in the Grill Room. It's hard to remember either guy missing more than a putt or two that they absolutely had to have, but if we needed a six-footer made for a million dollars, we'd hand our putter to Tiger.
Sorry, we'll refrain from airing the obvious wisecracks where putting and sexual exploits are concerned. But, by all means, have at it.