We get it, unless you are at work, you rarely surf the 'net, and are careful about spending your valuable time in places like the Grill Room. Wandering through cyberspace has become mostly a Monday-through-Friday romp in 2010.
Weekends, and Sundays in particular, are for families, chores, bills, catching up with old relatives on something called a telephone, and maybe even lounging about with the Sunday paper.
Relax, I did say maybe on that last part. In no way was that meant for the under-30s that come by here from time to time during the week to snicker and point fingers at an old guy's perspective (rants) on sports' irrelevance in the grand scheme of things.
I realize you youngsters see little value in 24-hour-old news. Besides, that ink can be so messy...
Anyway, by the time the weekend's over, and you are fully exhausted from all that fun, it's high time to hunker down in your cubicle at work. From behind the safety of your computer screen you get re-energized by firing up the Internet and tuning out the boss.
You flash constant updates on Facebook about how you are feeling, and what you are doing at 10-minute intervals to people alleged to be your friends. Still, you know that true friends would have long ago told you to go away already. Then again, what would they do at work if they didn't have your insufferable updates to groan about, right?
That out of the way, to the two or three of you that ventured into here today -- a Sunday -- welcome.
We plan to make this 90-second stop well worth your time.
If you are a real sports fan, you are most likely killing time until the football comes on. At about 4 a.m. local time, Monday, we'll know who this year's combatants will be in the Super Bowl.
We're on the record predicting that the Saints and Colts will come through, and meet in Miami for all the marbles in two weeks.
Our reasoning is sound, and almost certainly wrong. We take heart, though, knowing nobody has a single clue about what will happen today. By the way, that's the one iron-clad fact you should take from this column.
To prove this point, we have actually spent part of our valuable Sunday away from the newspaper, surfing the net, and dodging all those pop-up ads to bring you these insufferable 'experts' picks for today's big games.
Hang in there, and enjoy the action. The weekend, finally, is almost over, and soon you can get back to your friends...
- The CBS Sports 'experts' play the spread and like the Colts, but love the Saints.
- The sanctimonious 'experts' at ESPN won't mess with the spread, but overwhelmingly like the Colts, while giving a slight tilt to the Saints. Only Adam Schefter has nodded his pecker-head at the Jets. There's always one in every bunch.
- RealClearSports local, Jeff Briggs, also likes the Colts and Saints laying the points, which given his record this year, should bring great comfort to Jets and Vikings fans. Jeff in no way makes the mistake of calling himself an 'expert,' though.
- The SportingNews 'experts' are also avoiding the spread and like the Colts and Saints straight up.
- So as not to upset anybody too much, CNN/SI 'expert' Peter King has tip-toed his way to picking the Jets to cover but lose, and the Saints to cover and win. He makes it clear, though, he could be wrong. Must be a misprint.
- The Yahoos at Yahoo are unanimous in their like for the Colts, but their 'experts' are split down the middle in the NFC tilt.
- Over at fanhouse, the venerable 'expert' Dave Goldberg likes the Colts but thinks the spread is high, and the Saints laying the points.
- The NFL.com 'experts' are actually split on the Jets and Colts but like the Saints by a 3-to-1 margin.
- The Wall Street Journal (seriously) has put together a panel of 'experts' and likes the Colts and Saints convincingly.
- USA Today's 'experts' avoid the spread but are near unanimous in their like for the Colts, and only slightly convinced the Saints will pull through.
- NBC Sports' 'expert' actually likes the Jets and Vikings straight up.