Thanks to your lack of prudence and any semblance of good judgment you keep returning to the Grill Room each Friday for our free offering of what you most likely won't see each weekend during the NFL season.
That you willingly pay for our good German bier explains everything, though.
Anyway, welcome back.
This Friday's menu features stuff you won't get anywhere else regarding what the NFL calls its Divisional Playoffs. And, wouldn't you know it, there is, in fact, one team representing each of the league's eight divisions this year. Holy smokes, we have no idea the last time that happened! Seriously, we don't, and who cares?
Here's what you really need to know: Because the once-galloping Colts spit the bit, and turned into Chicken Little the last two weeks of the year, there is nothing great about any of the eight remaining teams. In fact, seven of 'em have a legitimate shot of winning a Super Bowl title if things go their way.
Unfortunately, Dallas is one of them. The Jets, of course, are not.
If talking tough got you places, though, the Jets would be the first team to land on the moon. Even better for Buddy's boy. That joint is allegedly made of cheese.
So sit back, relax, enjoy your pils, and try to drink just enough so that you don't remember these playoff predictions when you come wandering back in here next Friday.
New Orleans (-6.5)
If you like offense, this game's for you. Is there any way the winning team doesn't put up at least 35 points in this one? The over/under in Vegas is about 107 we hear.
The Cards get credit for cooling off a red-hot Packer club last weekend, but the magic ends here.
The Super Dome will be LOUD Saturday, and the rested Saints will be flying across the green carpet, as if on skates.
Expect Sean Payton to put together a game plan that would make Patton jealous, as his Saints go marching out to a big early lead. The Cards have enough play-makers to make things respectable at some point, but the Saints will end up winning this one going away. If you can't make it to the Grill Room, Bourbon Street will be a pretty good place to be Saturday night.
Saints 41, Cards 27.
Because of the pathetic way Indianapolis ran from perfection, it deserves to lose just as quickly as possible. That won't be Saturday night, though.
Baltimore's a rough-and-ready bunch, but unlike last week, will need a big week out its on-again, off-again QB to hang. We just don't see that happening. The Colts will do a reasonable job of stuffing Ray Rice and the run, and then bring lightning off the corner of its D-Line to force Joe Flacco into a key mistake or three.
The Ravens might make things tough on The Peyton of Mannings, but in the end, the family's best QB will get into some sort of groove and throw his third TD pass early in the fourth quarter, sewing things up.
Colts 28, Ravens 13
This one all comes down to the quarterbacks -- as opposed to, say, 87 percent of the NFL games that come down to the play of the quarterbacks.
Since breaking into the league and losing one important game after another, Tony Romo (pictured) has been compared to Brett Favre. Not because of his propensity to choke in all manner of unimaginable ways -- including fumbling a snap from center on an extra point -- but because of his ability to turn nothing into something when a play is crumbling all around him.
Both of these dudes also do an excellent job of keeping their mugs in front of the cameras. I am told by my better half that this is a good thing where Favre is concerned and a bad one for Romo and that stupid cap he wears while preening for the lenses.
Anyway, on Sunday, each of them will be facing ferocious pass-rushers, so the QB who plays most like Favre and the least like Romo will win.
Believe it or not, we think that will be Romo, and Dallas (frickin', #*!#*%!* Dallas!) will win late.
Cowboys 24, Vikings 23
N.Y. Jets at
San Diego (7.5)
We'll have to type loudly because Buddy's boy is in the back talking loud in-between quaffing buffalo wings from real buffaloes and a case of tall-boy beers imported from SW Wisconsin.
Is there anybody besides us saying you really don't have to like this guy or the way he operates?!
What, are these genuflecting media hounds worried Buddy's boy will gnaw their arm off if they don't swoon over all that trash that comes tumbling out of his mouth?
This Sunday the Jets will get the lesson they should have learned at some point this year on their way to losing seven games: There is always somebody tougher than you are out there.
You get the feeling San Diego has been sitting in this spot for the past three or four years now -- just waiting for a big, bad run to the promised land. Well the waiting is over. This is their year.
But you still want some Xs and Os and matchups for convincing, don't you? OK, here's one: Rivers vs. Sanchez.
Chargers 31, Jets 13