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March 12, 2010 10:39 AM

More Leaks from the Gated City of Isleworth

ari.jpgWell, buckle your seat belts it's time again for your update on the Tiger Woods top-secret saga.

New developments have emerged over the past couple of days, not the least of which is the fact the Associated Press is reporting that it now has two unidentified undercovers in the Woods' camp feeding it information through the barbed wire that sits atop the gated city of Isleworth in some sun-drenched location south of Augusta, Georgia.

Understand, the AP is careful to make clear these daring dolers of info speak cautiously and strictly under the condition of anonymity because only Woods is supposed to release such classified information.

You can take it the AP carefully vetted these daredevils, and are satisfied they are in a position to know of what they speak.
I have it from my own source, and somebody most likely not in a position to know, that if they are caught talking to the media, they will be forced to ride shotgun in Tiger's car as he pulls out of his driveway.

I guess the biggest news here is that the AP is contradicting earlier reports that Tiger was plotting his return for Arnold Palmer's tournament at Bay Hill in only two week's time.
Tiger's return to Bay Hill made sense because he has won more tournaments there than Arnie has won two-dollar Nassaus against fat, balding Bay Hill members.

It has also always served as the perfect prep for Tiger as he readied for his annual conquest of Augusta National. After all, the Masters is traditionally two weeks after Arnie's party.

The AP said, that according to their sources in a position to know, he is instead looking at making his return at Augusta cold, with absolutely no warm-up tournament under his belt.   

This also makes sense to me, because nobody, not even people in a position to generally know these things, have the foggiest idea what a media-zoo his return will create. Augusta is much more bomb-proof, and expert at keeping people off their property that aren't wanted.
Just ask Martha Burke, or anybody who might not like what they did with the green at No. 6 or something.

The other significant news is that Ari Fleischer (pictured), the one-time White House press secretary in the second George Bush administration, is coming aboard Team Tiger to keep all these stories straight coming from all these unidentified sources.

Fleischer is also expert at feeding the insatiable media big, unsatisfying chunks of information that more than occasionally rub up against the truth about what in fact is really happening, depending, of course, on who's story he is trying to keep straight.

The AP apparently is not ready to confirm that one because, I guess, only Fleischer can confirm such things, and nobody in his camp is as brave as the leakers in Tiger's camp. If this does turn out to be true, rest assured Fleischer will see to it that Tiger's leakers are patched up and patched up but good.

You have to wonder why Fleischer would involve himself in such things. If he thought keeping all that crap straight that was coming down the chute during W.'s watch was tricky, he has no idea what he's getting himself into here.
Maybe it's the babes, I dunno...   

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