11. Who Do You Want to Punch?
RCS: Alright, last question. You're a boxer. What other sports writer would you most like to punch in the face?
Doyel: Oh brother. I need to channel my inner Wetzel on this one and be diplomatic. Truth is, I don't dislike any sports writer enough to want to beat him up. The idiots that rip me anonymously on SportsJournalists.com, not knowing me at all? Them I don't like. But them I don't know. How's that for writing? "Them I don't know." Brilliant. I think I want to punch ME in the face.
But really, I love boxing as competition and even as male bonding, and I know very few sports writers well enough to want to bond with them like that. I keep to myself by and large, and that's one reason (I think) why I'm not terribly popular. I don't hang out in pressrooms and drink beers afterward. I don't care about that stuff, and it makes me weird, and then when I rip mean-spirited readers on my hate mail without having someone to defend me with the line, "But he drinks beer with us," people in this business decide they don't like me. And really, that's fine. Honestly. (Now, you on message boards, go tell everyone it's not my hate mail but it's This or That or Some Other Thing that you hate about me. That's fine, too.)
But I'll tell you who I would box, because I love a challenge: Anyone who wanted to box me, as long as they were bigger than me or in decent shape. Lots of writers are bigger than me. Few are in decent shape. So, never mind. Maybe some day I'll box Dana White of the UFC. I could take him.