Want a sure-fire way to tarnish your Hall of Fame career in a few short months?  Follow the blueprint Clemens laid out for you. 

First, have your name referenced 82 times in a report about steroid use in baseball.  Then sue your former trainer, appear before a Congressional committee, and go under investigation about whether or not you lied under oath about using performance-enhancing drugs.  After all that, have the New York Daily News report you once had a long-term affair with both Mindy McCready, who was 15 at the beginning of the relationship, and Paulette Dean Daly, the ex-wife of John Daly.  And don’t forget to come across as a smug, arrogant jerk throughout it all. 

Needless to say, Clemens will probably be thankful if he gets any peace and quiet this Thanksgiving.