
Gifts for the Naughty and Nice in Sports
I won't mince words: It's been a tough year here at Universal Santa, Inc. (currently held in a blind trust by Bain Capital). We had to lay off nearly a quarter of our elves as well as...
Christmas
I won't mince words: It's been a tough year here at Universal Santa, Inc. (currently held in a blind trust by Bain Capital). We had to lay off nearly a quarter of our elves as well as...

By the power vested in me by Universal Santa, Inc. (named "One of America's Best Remaining Companies" by Elf-Help Quarterly), I hereby bestow the following Christmas gifts on those sports...
By the power vested in me by Universal Santa, Inc. (named "One of America's Best Remaining Companies" by Elf-Help Quarterly), I hereby bestow the following Christmas gifts on those sports...